Show SUNDAY SALAD The many failures ofour Bourbon goT vernor to secure to himself autocratic powers in the appointment of all the officers in tho territory and engraft various other imperial features upon our unhappy territory terri-tory has convinced him that Kingsley lied in saying that jPcstward the star of empire em-pire takes its way Go West and grow up with someother country less free The Tribune editor having failed to convince con-vince the city council Liberals that they are stoughton bottles and ought to resign re-sign there is nothing left for Cae editor to do but to resign himself to his fate admit that he is a slave to bottles of every description de-scription fall on his own sword and yield vff the quill By the way if the Tribune editor were actually to take it into his head to resign re-sign wouldnt the whole community be resigned It would 1e like the good for nothing man I who died suddenly that the minstrel tells aboutWhat What complaint asked a former acquaintance Oh no complaint at all responded a neighbor of the deceased Everybody satisfied The seasons may come and the seasons may go but it is a season we are not likely to have in which there occurs no Uncle Toms Cabin These companies and colored minstrels do not require extensive advertising advertis-ing like the battle they can be smelt afar off offThe The semiannual meeting of general passenger pas-senger and ticket agents held recently in New York decided that corpses must here ar go by express and not as passengers Itms that every form of deadheading is I being frowned down I I gin dramatic circles a long run means a I success in the case of the run after Tancott I it didnt I I A common cause unites us was good in Democratic Powers and armonized with the Tribune declaration that there were neither Democrats nor Republicans in tho Utah political arena The recollection recollec-tion of these sugarcoated words must give a shock of pleasure to brother Powers l now that so many Democrats are being named for the offices out of which Democrats Demo-crats in this territory are to be lifted Lets see Wheres the common cause now 0 Democratic Powers your liberal name is mud f i The Tribune will have Honoree Lawrence Law-rence for governor and Mr Emeree for marshal or nothing This reminds one of the Irishman in this city who offered paregoric pare-goric to his sick infant and the siek infant would have none of it His patience outdone at last he exclaimed Yell hae paregorick d ye or yell hae nothin So far as the Tribune is concerned the sick Kejublicans here will hae Lawrence or tLejrll hae nothin Scene Alta club hainnan Wcl1 then its the unanimous sentiment of the people of the common cause that unites us that Chas S Zanc be r instated as chief justice of Utah and that Prasidi nt Harrison be instractsd tot to-t accordingly fA voice from the flushed tbrongIll be dd dd if it is J Consternation and sudden cries of Jack Mormon From the rear end of the hall approaches a bushy head with buffalo eye brows It is the rffujgyeyed shyster of sheol Moccasin Mac All Moccasin Mac Mr NYe do well to call him Moccasin Mie who for one hundred and fortyseven j ears since before the days when a Mormon Mor-mon foot trod these dowemburdened plains until the present time that a common cause unites us has been discovering this territory Ye do me proudI who would hold the office of him who hath exchanged church mutton for a song Join in mine own funeral is it and see one emery within the marshals shoes I all but feet to warm my toes Thus would ye reward me ButGreat Scott Ill see you all in first If I cantbe marshal Ill bust the spell You work your racket Ill take care of my end Moccasin Mac is in Washington There is evidence that the club is recovering Do you not think asked a real estate inau of one of the minority that the multiplication mul-tiplication of atlditinna and divisions in our city is a chief factor in the tubtraction of See here my friend was the reply I got through with arithmetic a good many years ago if you have any problems in logarithms fire them at me I Im your man but spars me on Rays Third Part g Chief Justcc Fullers filth daughter is a jwrcl of a girl She clop id on Tueslay with a young fellow from Chicago She didnt tell her pa of what she intended to do and thus render it necessary for him to stop her she veat without warning and was married before he knew anything about it As he has eight more of them and only 10500 a year silary it is fair to presume that he will not break his heart A little threeyearold maiden a friend of ours says that ice cream is her favorite Y color She is perplexed not only by things of the flesh but occasionally fails to grasp the fitness of eternal things as shown by her recent version of the Lords prayer to wit Thy shall be done on earth as it is done in heaven I C Sum Nichols is the way the editor of the Time signs his name We hope you will see not only some but a good many friend Nichols By the way Nichols echoes public sentiment when he says the people of Salt Lake are getting tired of standing Pat At last accounts tie following conversation conversa-tion between President Harrison and John t Mocasin McBride who visited his ex llency on Friday had not been received 44 the telegraph office HarrisonWhat office is it you want my slaggyeyed friend Mac United States marshal for Utah sit I sitEarrison State what your especial qualifications quali-fications for the position are Mic lam a Republican Hirrison That is understood MICI belong to the pioneer class Harison In what way does that fact i contrbute to your qualifications as marshal MaIn one of my little jaunts out west I in eacV days I discovered the valley of thereat the-reat nIt Lake As I entered the valley on horsibacktie grass was so tall and the dew waj so wet that I had to change my moccasin every few minutes HarrisllIs it becausz you are a good I horseback rider that you now ask to be made martxal or is it because you are accustomedto changing your shoes frequently fre-quently Mao Hariig discovered the territory it 1A1y Justict that it should reward me with the fattes office within its gift Harrison Am do the people as a whole accord you the distinction you claim to be entitled tot Mao Not as a whole HarrisonDo the majority accord it Mac Well the majority of the people arc too stubborn to admit the truth of my assertions as-sertions HarrisonAnd do the minority admit tho truth of them MacA portion of the minority only HarrisonWhat portion lIac1 admit them HarrisonPut this man down in the reserve re-serve corps of fence viewers for Indian territory Next |