Show I CARL DUNDER no Ii Catching on to American War at Last I Hellol 1 Mr Dunder I saluted Rergt Ben dall as that individual entered the Central I nation with a broad satisfied smile on his countenance Hello sergeant Vbas eafrythms all right mlt your I guess so You look happy It Sergeant I vhas shunt like sweet oil No more troubles for me I vbas catching on to do nust like Americans 1 am glad of that You used to be terribly I ter-ribly green So 1 vbas Three months ago I doan i know some beans in a bag Ha ha1 her j I cows come along and take mo for soma grass 1 If it rains I sbtondt right out doors awl 1 get i wet Hal hal It mokes mo laugb when 1 see I how green 1 vhasl I Anything happened lately queried the sergeant in a careless way Vhall not mooch Some fellers try to beat me but dey doan make oudt I visas too sharp for em Ono feller comes along mit six pairs of sheep shears in a bundle He doan want to sell dose shears but be likes to borrow three dollars for one day and leaf em for security if be doan come pack in one day dose shears vbas mlnfi I seer He doan come pack Mnype he break his leg or something butdot vhas nothing to me I keep dose shears If somepody heats t me serI ser-I grant he shall haf to get oop wery early in der morning Ipresumeso Have you the shears thereT I bat I belief you like to see em They are worth two shillings a pair said the sergeant after an inspection You are out of pocket fourteen shillings and what do you expect to do with sheep shearer Heafensl I doan think of dot gasped Mr Dunder as be grew white in the face Anything chef Vhell 1 get my life Insured I doan belief be-lief I vbas sheated by dot A feller comes along und fay visas I Carl Dumlerf 1 vbas Vhell der president of der United Statessays ha likes me to call on you und tnuire your life Dis vhas a new company und a new idea I let you in by der ground floor like your name to influence odder people How vhas dot now idear You pay only two dollars eafery twenty years and if you die your wife gets J71000 It vitas der biggest thing out Sblldrcns cry for It Vanderbilt Shay Gould Russell Sage end all der big fellows vhas into > it How cldt you vhas who visas your grandmother grand-mother how many teeth have you lost oudt vas you safer bit by some dogs did you eafer own a white horse bow often you fall down Ftairs ldo you ride on some bicycles und dis visas der truth der whole truth und nothing but der truth And ire wonted l the f2 in advancer queried the sergeant Of course Dot visas to pay for shweoring me1 meWell Well you ore beaten again Mr Dunder Insurance men dont do business that way Good day I How you meanP You had better go home Have you got a tub in your house Of course Any bran ut the barnr Yes 11 Well make the tub about half full of mash and then put your head to soak for about forty igbt hours When through buy some No 4 sandpaper and polish it down to the bone Sergeant visas I some greenhorns You are Vhill I eafer learn somethings Never Then goodbyl I shant try no more It vitas a queer country und nothing vhas der same two times alike Vhen my body virus brought in here doon make fun of It Shust use it shently und say dot I did so well ash 1 could Detroit Free Press |