Show J THE CONQUESTS OF CONS CONSTAN TAN I Switchboard Operator at the If 11 lid Rich BY ALMA LIA WOODWARD The Vaudeville Agent d Say whit what kind uv U a n. winter Winer r i were we're havin complained the of ot the tiie switchboard as nhe shu n pearly her hr alabaster de dew I Here ere I Ju JUI jua i ian an an killed a a. C I man to tet ct a aj furs to prot t lily Illy white ch chever che ever since it its it's as s hot het as S blaz blaze It Is It itT I murmur Mild lUd Why told th the matI mas that If Jt he d dI turn off ff I fur the a I In this here I 1 Id I quick there'd tn mysterious d p u fly v fill tul malt male b by th the milting Young an b bI I I I rew suppose too and r impatient to I tell teU ab about I d day v I 1 touched th the subject thing Me re N Not t on your our life lIro timid It does doc good to tell about how I put I ons blue through throUgh it 4 the squeezer Vl Vh them thea I uv Ul gloom my system remembering how v J even I even I got a n. vicious nature I 1 Anyhow The n next t a n. v nato nata Vau agent Yuh know e once I had a rough hous house here with the atel re an roAna I left left left-left left him cold Tt It ft all about a little thing morning I had one uv them iett the rt between cen my I oyes oyes Ono B-Ono ono uv them wireless lese communication stomach yuh uh know An Ans with Cl to the s j i 1 corner for tor some somo his lie he ache stuff Well I aint bothered with repairs rt usually The drug stoy stor n all alJ have havo to so go up the tho spout If Ir their o er or customers a as lavish 1 as rn me naturally I didn't know how how- to W this patent stuff stun an nn Claude neither nf An he dl di JM the glass by gosh bosh It we begin poured to It h all ever er the landscape an give lion dollar I vc us the deuce for or ru ruining the ma mans mana th the then Persian prayer rug rus yuh uh under yer er feet this minute which G i is wor worth h u en elc I got my Dutch up uti an left leCt See So- An I J knew a girl that no raphel In i a theatrical office an ani an had a n habit uv u like rea ready run run-i Monday IJ mornin mo me t to SUnd Sunday y nig all dolled up In Fifth Firth avenue an an itA hints hats ts frum rum the other side fold So thought thought to myself I got ot a firm finn emu eno foundation In the beauty line to J I class If ft J I had a little hitti fanc fancy Icing help me out So I went an an applied I R switchboard operator in R a K 11 O. O vine agents agent's place place an an sot got ot ft It VeIl fl I mad ft such a hit with boss that If ff any in- in them them-n other sk s employed th there re had got a t. t chance the tto have dusted my transmitter with nide nde An I e perfectly used to sin siny about my work yuh uh kl kt until until the they went an an put In m my m ch chot to tell the thA boobs what come como there thora Ic lot in in fer bookin that their act wua I bad need uv 1 a 11 embalmer I kicked couple uv times tImeR to Izzy that t boss basEl but hed he'd say 4 Nov chicken yuh uh know yuh g the oil uv U Uthe the Blarney Stone In y yo tongue and yuh uh cn pacify em gra I Now yuh uh be Rood good an an Ill I'll send rend yul yuh a rea real I t two dollar show on Satur An Id I'd fall CalI fer It an an go so back S illI U ct a L LOW AUW e enemies in Jim mo tho j 11 fesh until one day I got sot a S1 real ro customer r In tho the shape uv u fine the Firefly a a. tI rope tight rope ht-rope wa wal an strong strong- woman Fifine had b I hillIn it up all an she wu peeved i e bout bein told her act punk the time S So Sa wh when n I the new her gently p. she lifted a n. l letterpress 11 It a f eLther duster luster an an seen 1 ii h near she could come to my top tOl hair Well relI I run In to I that sho wU tr ln to cr cro me An by sh R.- R. gosh that cd pi went vent an shoved me right back a an an says sas Well yuh uh know n yuh uh cn en pacify 1 b tern I can darling Pacify her When hen she tr marcel my KO aol 01 1 locks with a ton t pig Iron Well elJ W say ray I made marJ a a. tra tn exit axIL h by way uv the fire escape An yuh uh 1 know I dont don't dare to RO go to a at saud vilie show fer fear one uv us' em w c recognize mo me from the stage and ands and's a si things things' |