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Show THE llUMOFt OF LIFE. MERRY JESTS TURNED OUT BY THE OFFICIAL FUNMAKERS. Was Willing to Divide the Chewing Gum Knew How the Estate Would Be Divided Blamed the Elephant for the Quality of Ivory. Elephant Humbugs. Customer I believe you are the man of whoml bought this cane. proprietor Yes, I sold you that cane. Customer And you said the handle was of genuine ivory, and I find that It is artificial. Proprietor I can't help it, sir. I import my ivory direct from Ceylon, and the only explanation I can give is that toe elephants have taken to wearing wear-ing false tusks. He Knew the Jones Boys. "Old Jones is dead, I see. I wonder how his estate will be divided? It seems a pity that it can't be kept together." to-gether." "A good deal of it will be scattered widely in small amounts, I fancy, but there will be a pretty good block for each of the residuary legatees." "Who are they?" "Oh, the Chorus Girls' Union and the Whisky Trust." Detected. Herlock Sholmes took up the subject sub-ject of the burglary boldly. "You say," he remarked, "that the thief stole Miss Smartleigh's gloves?" "Yes," said the lady of the house, "one pair of gloves." "H'm!" mused the famous detective. detec-tive. "It Is as I suspected! He robbed her right and left." Language. "It's wonderful," said the meditative man, "how one small word, Insignificant Insignifi-cant in Itself, may induce an endless train of thought, speaking volumes in fact." "Yes," replied the caustic man. 'Take the word 'but' for Instance, when a woman says: 'Of course It's none of my business, but.' " Perfectly Correct. A gentleman was one day visiting a friend's house, and while strolling in the garden came across his little boy, and, speaking to him, said: "Well, my little man, how old are you?" The child answered "Five." "And what are you going to be?" "Six." Just One Moment. gpiQ Visitor to Jail Why are you here? Prisoner (a pickpocket) I am here as a result of a moment of abstraction. abstrac-tion. Certain Advantages. Robbie Ain't yer vaccination healed heal-ed up yet? James Naw. Robblo Gee! Don't It make yer feel bad? James Naw. The doctor tele mom I mustn't take a bath till it ws all healed ap. |