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Show LITTLE BOBBIE'S PA. By William F. Kirk. Pa was awful wen he calm hoam last nlle. A oltomobeel hit him on the leg & tore his pants, just when he was going go-ing to git In the subway to cum hoam. Newer mind, deerest, sed Ma. I am glad that you escaped with yure whole skin. Let me sew up the trousers. after af-ter dinner, Ma sed, & try to forget the unpleasant incident. Than? vou no. sed Pa. thare you ce. Small indeed, Pa sed, is the luving slmpathy I evvcr git from you. I dare say, Pa sod, if my skin had been broaken, you wud have offered to sew up the shattered bone. Ar perhaps, Pa sed, if that Jugger-not had Van plum oaver mo, braking the neck which ties H1I3 fine head to this splendid body, you wud have ran for the neodel & thred & tried to be Bertha, the Sewing Girl. Doant be cross, doerest, sed Ma. I was only trying to help you. Trying to help me, Indeed, sed Pa. I cant see it with a spyglass. Rats, sed Pa. Anywa , sed Ma, let us have our dinner. I have sum fine stake & sum baked potatoes Jor dinner, yure favorite favor-ite dish. Ma sed. Cum, deerest & after dinner I will sey up that tear. Fine stake and baked potatoes, sed Pa. Fine stake and baked potatoes! Is that the only cumfort I git when I have just mlssc'd beelng copped by the grim Reeper? Is that all you hae to say when I cum white faced into my hoam. after narrow-lv missing Deth? I suppoas. Pa sed. If I had been groun beneeth them crule wheels you wud have had lamb chops and peas. Or If my arms wud have been cut off, you wud' have served me with sum veal a la casseroal. Hevings. sed Pa. to think that I have so hartless a wife. I am not going to eat dinner at all, sed Pa. I am going to the library & after I have gulped down a glass of brand v to ste.ldy by nerves, I am going go-ing to rile a letter to the managing editor of The American. & I am going to pro-test aggenst reckless ottomobeel driving. So Pa went in the library & we herd him gulp two (2) times. & then he rote a letter, & this is what Pa wrote to the managing editor: Deer Editor: In the nalm of humanity, human-ity, I wish to protest aggenst the awful aw-ful Jugger-nots wich Is crushing out our yung manhood in thare thoughtless thought-less rushes up & clown our bule-vards. How long, oh, how long, shall the speed-mad drivers of ew York strike terror to the harts of peepul wich hasent got the price to have ottomo-beels? ottomo-beels? Today, Mister Editor, I had my pants toarn just above the knee, by a forty (40) horse power car. Tho street, at the time, was full of lady shoppers & theater-goers cummlng from the matlnay. The car, beelng ; only a forty (40) horso power car. only toar tho pants slltely; but suppoas sup-poas it had been a sixty (CO) horse power ottomobeel, with all them fair folks looking on. Think of the awful possibilities of that, Mister Editor, j Yures, Vo Popull. That Is a fine letter, soil Ma. Now, deer, cum & have some dinner. By no means, sed Pa I cannot forget for-get so soon that wen I calm in torn &. crumpled, after barely missing a crule fate, you thought of dinner first. You are a unnatural wife, Pa sed. Then Ma got mad herself. Now see here, she sed to Pa. You set rite dow n hands shall ewer prepare. 1 have been pasbunt with you. Ma sod, but now you have gone to far. Do you hear mc, sed Ma. You set rite down to that tabel & doant waste any tUne "about It, eether. Ma said it so different to what she usually talks that Pa dident say, any rnoar." He set down & ate (8) his dinner. StfS&n MENANDW&MEB. 5V-lXtTlEf,w. 1 Cm Blc O foroon,nrl Siy h l utiifiY 1 dliebri.loflinmtloDi. L'jJ 0mii Vl Irrltttioo or ulcrtior g2Jf ntf. of n io on rDmbra. CTtTftmEviNSCHtlllClLCo. (ol or poUonooi. )hCIKCIKIAn.O"Jl ol4 by DranUti, V . .V C. S.A. Zi'i or tot Id plain wrppT, Xfi VjwrfV' 1 tpr. prepaid, fol yHv J'uSrtl 1.00. or S bottle-tI.7S. Clronir fut o -u |
