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Show U 1 L ".1 The Village News Press: (Prop, and Editor, W. ITinchelU The Gov't says you can deduct burglary bur-glary losses from your taxes. Wendy Barrie wonders ii that includes night club overcharges. Prof. Emery Deutsch, who has been appointed conductor of the CBS Salon orchestra, always did detest playing in night clubs, and never dreamed the day would come again when he could hold his head and fiddle fid-dle high. Nice boy, Emery. And his pretty bride is a nice girl, too. Inez Robb of our town spent a quiet week-end over at Mrs. Evelyn McLean's house down Washington way. Mrs. McLean being the owner of the well-known Hope diamond. The first day breakfast was brought to Inez's boodwah, but the second morning it was necessary for Inez to ring. Beside her bed were two buttons . . . Inez reasoned: "Obviously "Ob-viously the black button is for night service; the white one for day." So she touched the white one delicately it being morning . . . Well, sir. Sirens screeched forth from here, there and everywhere; Great Danes barked their heads oft; and folks started running hither and thither through the halls. Inez, it seems, had rung the fire alarm. Mrs. McLean, Mc-Lean, the owner, merely turned over in bed. She knew there was a guest. But the coffee when it did come was hot. Ye ed sure got a big laugh out of the story the other day about the 60-year-old president of a Rotary club who ran off with a woman 29 years younger. He can be prosecuted prose-cuted under the Mann act, a federal offense. But look at what the Rotary club is worried about: That he missed his first club luncheon in 18 years! Enis Beyer, the singer and constant con-stant subscriber, says ye ed's daily stint is "absolutely conseqwinchell " Ha, ha. See where Marshal Petain's allowance, al-lowance, for the next three months will be 954,000 francs. That's about $80,000 a year. In other words, Pe-tain Pe-tain gets more to ruin France than FDR gets to run the U. S. A. Jean Cabin, the big French actor, told how the Frenchmen feel about Great Britain. He says: "We are both pro and anti-British. Those who are pro-British say each night in their prayers: 'Please, God, let the gallant British win quickly.' Those who are anti-British say ' in their prayers: 'Please, God, let the awful British win right away.' " Over at Frank Case's inn the pictures pic-tures of the drama critics are on display in the lobby. Frank asked Bub Benchley what he thonuht of them. "The one of George Jean Nathan," Bub said, "don't do him injustice." Guy Lombardo heard a deb say to another: "What color galoshes are you getting with your new spring suit?" And Jerry Cooper doesn't believe all that talk about a food shortage in Italy, considering all the crow they have to eat Broadway Wiseguy: He knows the same elements as other people, but in h'is world they have different functions . . . The air is something you listen to for songs, sketches, speeches. Water is what they put in stocks, and fire is what a poor performance misses ... He thinks a skirt isn't a garment, gar-ment, but a woman in one and when he talks of a turkey he means a flop-show ... He lives and moves and has his being in theater-town . . . Things that are said and done on a stage or screen amuse and touch him, but try to make him weep when the show is over . . Try to make him laugh, for that matter. He read it long ago or he heard it when you were still breaking in your longies . . . People who take "hours" telling a story (which' is a gag in his lingo) are usually bores, phonies or jerques . . . When he says he doesn't like pictures he means movies, not paintings ... A book isn't something to read, but the plot in a musical show, or the thing wager-makers make fnr r.f bet-placers ... He is that loud voice giving away the secrets of pals. He argues that money will buy everything and anything, and he has never learned not to mistake publicity public-ity for fame . . . Most of the United States to him is "the sticks" or "the hinterland" . . . The over 130 -000,000 people are "suckers." The name of Shakespeare always I recalls the Ume he won a bet on a horse by that name ... He has many friends he doesn't like and they detest him . . . He has a' wonderful won-derful knack for ignoring the check ... It has been said of him that his conscience is more his accomplice than his guide . . His idea of a good song is "Beat Me, Daddy Eight to the Bar!" ... He is deeply concerned con-cerned about the foreign situation because be-cause it has cut off his supply 0f post cards . . . He's the guy you want to know until you do. |