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Show Her First Order. Fhe was newly married, and did not know a little bit about housekeeping housekeep-ing or shopping, and she wai (lvlug her very first order. "I want 10 pounds of paralyicd sugar," su-gar," she began with a businesslike air. "Yea'm. An thine else?" replied the grocer who knew his business. "Two cans of condemned milk." "Yes'm." He set down the "pulverized, sugar'' and "condensed milk," "AnythltiK more, ma'am?" "A pound of desecrated roconnut lie wrote glibly "desslcated cocoa nut." "Yes'm. What next?" "A ban of fresh salt. n aure It's fresh." "Nothing more, ma'am? We have ine nice horseradish." "No," she said; "It would be of no use to us. Wo don't keep a horse." He Couldn't Answer, In a recent debate at the Wichita high school the woman suffrage amendment was under dlacumdon. "It would be unwite to Rive, woman the ballot," declared a budding Iatilel Webster, In attacking the proposition. "Woman could nt be relied upon to exercise good judgment In voting. She changes her mind far too often." The next speaker was a young wo-ti'iin. wo-ti'iin. She arose and cast a pitying fc..nce at her opponent. "I would ilko to ask my honorable Opponent," she roued sweetly, "If he ever tried to change a woman's mind, once It was made up?" The young woman got the de. Wlou. Kansas City Star. Rueful Spelling. This Incident happened at camp, alien a corporal, who was making vp bis rations, was approached by t.io tent orderly, and the latter suj-,g'"ted a change In the dietary. ' We should like to have some rhubarb," rhu-barb," ho said. "You may have It," replied the corporal, cor-poral, who with pencil and paper then c imnuticed trjlng to record the older, lie began "Ku," hastily abandoning that for "Ken," and then put "Hoo" and "Hheu," rcsiiectively. Thoroughly Thorough-ly exasperated at that, the corporal exclaimed: ex-claimed: "Kubub be blowcd. You'll have cabbage " London Telegraph " The Other Lawn. They lived In a little town ndjaeent to Pittsburgh. Hubby was trltig '.o Jolly wlfey along and in. ike her forget that she wanted a new summer suit "Now," said he, "th" town committee commit-tee Is offering a prize for the prettiest lawn." "What Is that to me?" "Why don't you enter the contest?" "You know I haven't had a lawn In five years. I haven't even a gingham that Is fit to wear." Moral: You can't lak$ their minds off the subject of dress. A Hunting Incident. A city hunter, rigged out In a corduroy cor-duroy silt. double-peaked cap, leggings, leg-gings, and other picturesque paraphernalia, para-phernalia, engaged a small country boy at guide. The two were greatly astonished when a rabbit jumped out from be. hind a log, looked uliuut, and dropped over as If dead. "There) Isn't a mark on It!" exclaimed ex-claimed the siiortuman. "No," replied the boy. "I guess he must have laughed himself to death." Judge. A Safe Drink. A Wichita society matron anil church leader while In one or that city's drug stores noticed an advertisement telling tell-ing of the superlative qualities of a new summer drlnU. Thinking she mifht be benefited by It, she ordered a glass. The first taxte was rather sharp and hot, and looking up suspiciously suspi-ciously she Inquired If the drink was safe. "Safe!" Indignantly replied the clerk, "why. I fhoiild say it whs sufe, Ail the policemen in town come her to drink it." Kansas City Star. She Knew. "io on!" said Mrs. Wl'klns, scornfully, scorn-fully, when some one read out from an evening paper: "Iist year 11,217,-lot) 11,217,-lot) working days were lont through labor diKpu'es." "Co on!" ejaculated the excellent lady, "ever) body knows that th'-ro are only 3'1". days In a year." |