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Show THE FESTIVE AUCTIONEER. These are the days when the auctioneer, "with apt alliteration's artful aid," makes his humorous harangues in the vacant stores about town wherever he finds a chance to display his goods. Yesterday the reporter listened at the door of a notable auction place for about two minutes, and this is what he heard: "Now, gentlemen, here is a handsome gold watch-all gold and silver. Remember, I don't misrepresent these goods. You will find them just what I tell you; if I don't say anything about them you must use your own judgment. Now, then, these cases are all gold and silver-not like the Ladd cases which are filled with copper. These are filled with silver-the outside is eighteen carat gold and the inside solid silver. How much am I offered? Remember this watch is in good running order-all in good running order and there are only two left. How much am I offered? Make a bid. Here is a chance to get a $100 gold watch cheap. Give me a bid. How much?" No bid was forthcoming, and the auctioneer nodding to a vacant spot in the crowed, cried, "Eight dollars," in ineffable scorn. "Eight dollars for a watch like that! Eight dollars! Why, gentlemen, you couldn't buy the cases for $35. Remember, this is all gold and silver. Eight dollars! Eight dollars! Who'll give me ten? Ten dollars do you make it? Eight dollars-eight. Eight dollars, eight dollars-eight dollar-eightdollareightdollar-eightdollareightdollareightdollareightdollar-gimme the ten, gimmetheten! Eight dollars, will you make it nine? Why, gentlemen, they hain't no use of your standing here waiting. I knew a man who stood around three or four years waiting for something to turn up, and he spent $1,000 in the business. A few months ago he came into my place on Woodward avenue [Avenue], and I sold him one of these watches for $15-every dollar he had. He went out and made three trades with the watch, and came back with a horse and buggy. I sold the horse and buggy for him for $105, and he kept on trading, and to-day he's in business on Monroe avenue {Avenue] and worth $3,000-all from that $15 watch. I could give you his name if I wanted to. So you see, gentlemen, they hain't no use standing around waiting for something to turn up. There is nothing never goin' to turn up. Will you give me $9 for the watch? Nine dollars! Give me $8.50 to keep the sale a-going. What? What gentlemen, I can't talk to you all day-my time is worth money. Will anybody bid $8.25? Eight dollars and a quarter for a solid gold and silver watch! Then you don't want it and it goes back in the case." A half-hour later the reporter passed that way and saw the auctioneer sell the same watch for $6.75.-[Detroit Free Press. |