OCR Text |
Show March 1981 DESERET REEFER Page4 _ EM ee For MX | Joint Session Universe Gang had broken no laws. In the meantime, at the Utah State Legislature. Representutives of the gang, disguised as lobbyists for ranching inte- rity first for ‘““checking”. iously worried about someone was reported nationwide news notes: ** that drugs was $25,000 seized illegally by police from Morning Edition. and It was also carried on the UPI and AP wires and most local radio and TV sta- for their evil fear of retribution hawking this year into a 27-county effort, complete with sophisticated aerial surveillance ‘and helicopter landings of khaki-clad commandos armed with worth of Roland Again,according ceed $30 million. pockets. ** winning program, Extra, aired all a segment High Times Michael Dorgan reports that the ** fed’s war against the California Sinsemilla crop has been stepped up into a full-scale paramilitary California farmers. ee It has expanded of the letter was the name IN THE UNIVERSE — HOLE day. Smoke Two of these every A Modern Miracle. joint rolled in red-white-blue box was a parsle majority” JUST IN CASE whole else — or were charade that they recently con- “None PORT- }-BEAM CARRYING CASE” MANUFACTURED BY CORRECT COUNT CO. INC. PATENTS PENDING Accommodates both 750S and 1650 scales. Has compartments to store attachment weights. $19.95 (SLbs 202s) of however, that the electoral college was designed of the hands of the rabble-rousing public. It has nothing to do with “majority rule’. If the majo- rity actually ruled in this country, on the basis of the last election NO ONE would have been elect- | eee $21.95 1409 S 900 E, SLC, Utah 485-2213 % LAS VEGAS — Two men charged with as- grossed nearly $50,0000a year. saulting an off-duty Internal Revenue Service able since her brownies went The 57 year old agent were acquitted by a Las Vegas jury in US per dozen. She district Court after the two-men claimed the a- no apologies, however. gent “winked or made obscene gestures” at years as a waitress and never them. Benjamin Barrinton and Vincent Woods she felt it was time for her were charged with assaulting IRS agent Lamar Kruitbosch on August 21st at the Sportsman Time Out Saloon, described by local media as a “hardhat bar’’. ** SAN FRANCISCO ~Partake of “‘Garndam’s the to keep the choice for Chief Executive in the hands of a wealthy, educated, powerful elite — and out 95 _ HEADQUARTERS I hardly Of course, due to the nature of the American political system, Reagan received an cverwhelming majority of theelectoralvotes. Many of us forget ena fail.”’ Taped OHAUS 707 WEIGHT SET Increases Capacity of triple beams to 2610 grams. so disgusted with the call a 26% approval rate as an overwhelming mandate tor anything — except possibly resignation.~ ae cannot ee OHAUS 750S (TRIPLE BEAM) Weighs to guests at Above” by staying away from the polls. _ ed. : from 1/10 gram to 610 grams. $69 of the American peo- voted method He hints county actually voted for Herr Reagan Another way of stating the situation is that 74% of the American people were either active supporters of someone This Daper;s). 13 California — off- to give hemp GANG — the Deseret Reefer Thus, the voted in the last election. Since Ronald Reagen received 52% of the vote, these statistics mean that only 26% of the eligible voters of this held to “tell the public ’ concerning the dangers of bongs to the civic decency of the community.. In a particularly telling scene,creepy figures ininvade a local paraphernalia shop seizing its wares right off the walls, and proceeding to throw the assault on the top | Chronicle | (At BONGS. logo, and the phrase: WHEN BONGS ARE OUTLAWED ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE — Get Stoned — Beside the signature at the bottom was a box reading: “Help Build a Better Utah to the to promote hilarity and happiness.” 129-199 AD. Ronald Reagan really elected by an “overwhelming elected in | Sincerely, John Ganga and the Hole in the Universe Gang ple? And does he therefore have a complete mandate to turn this country into a Moral Majotity haven for religious fundamentalists, major corporations,and paranwid anti-communists? The Republican Party, the newspapers, the electronic media — and many Democrats — all say yes. The facts, however, tell us something very different. ' The fact is that only 51% of those eligible entitled “The Invasion of the Bong Snatchers”. In the segment, “neighborhood meetings’ are itemsin a bonfire. Francisco T+ ig customary banquets Galen — ** Was kinds of people ‘“‘out of the woodwork”’ in opposition. No sooner had the Hole in the Universe Gang pranked the Legislature than Channel 2’s award Light up for a better utah! be busted: Seventy-three percent said NO—giving financial reasons as the principle factor. dealers in stocks bill has brought THE HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE GANG TO THE UTAH STATE FROM ducted a call-in survey on whether pot farms should who ran for Sheriff on a plat- anti-paraphernalia joint. the average cost , And in post Prop. he didn.t.° The San : The He warned the group not to lis- that the only reason he prosecutes such cases is be- : cause the California AG would prosecute him if This was not Mander’s first try for office. He ran for governor of Colorado in 1978. Nor is it the first “weird” election Aspen has seen. Hun- ** AG, icials are becoming quite cost conscious. chided state election officials in a page one headline: DID LIZARD OUTSLITHER RIVAL FOR DA’S JOB? was nearly And the group encouraged, “MX for a Stronger Amerika’. | As one observer remarked, “‘I think he actually believes what he is saying”’. We believe that ney social problems which result from an overly regulated and pressured pot. existence can be alleviated b by its use. In the. public interest we are enclosing a complimentary Mendocuno County District Attorney Joe§ Allen concludes that ‘marijuana eradicatoni”’ is a “very depressing business’ — costing the local counties a bundle of cash out of the taxpayer’s Mander and only 91 for Leidner. Mander based his campaign on opposition to Leidner’s encouraging undercover narcs from the DEA to operate in the area. The DA was rather unasmued by the whole thing, and hinted at prosecution. With that, the Mander bandwagon really started rolling — picking up endorsements from unorthodox county sheriff Dick Kienast, the entire Pitkin County Board of Commissioners, and all three local papers. Mander aired radio spots ending: ‘On November 4th, it’s your choice: the Lizard or the Snake.” . | Officials. refused to acknowledge write-in votes for Mander— and the Rocky Mountain News lawn ‘““Give War a chance.” lives. Your these ill-conceived and pipes certainly interferes with our private lives. But the people who enforce up illegally. lighting is who see to just evening every Utah in room living every edicts can not watch from real We believe that the citizens of Utah would be better served if protection of the public public criminals such as murderers, robbers, and rapists were truly ensured. Consider onethe anahigh JOCUs ON cost of prosecution, we would be better off to leave the occasional pot smoker a real criminals instead. Most of all, we believe that the difficulty here lies in the lack of understanding about the use o cost of prosecuting those caught cowld easily ex- Leidner drew only 29% of the vote in Pitkin County, the most liberal of his three county district. One Aspen precinct showed 247 votes for courthouse to the of prosecuting such a case is $20,000. for his money in recent elections. Mander, created by cartoonist Chris Cassatt as a weekly feature of the Aspen Times so humiliated the DA (Chuck Leidner, incumbant, who was running unopposed) that he has announced his intention to resign. of placing dishonest dope the bogus “‘triad” approach to nuclear ten to naysayers who dispute the Air Force budget laws.” A trucking before the We are writing to you to express our concern over the “Bong Ban Bill” which is now private our in interfering t” Governmen Brother “Big about talk you of Many State Legislature. attempts to use the power of government to ban marijuana and devices such as bongs write-in candidate, Sal A. Mander, a cartoon lizard has given the DA of Aspen, Colorado a run on the 1970. And, “It will weapons to Utah communities like a used car ‘salesman, asserted, ‘I’m telling you the honest to goodness truth”. in the Great Basin. firm located in Utah has reportedly already begun carrying the materials to sites in the (Great Basin. Other reports indicate that the area has already been surveyed for a grid system layout in the two states. The Mother Love Tribe of Mutants for a Radioactive Society gave the Air Farce a strong show of support for Apocalypse Now. The Specter of Death appeared briefly, enciting the crowd to Dear State Legislator: Rolling Stone Magazine reports that a strang« form the government the Colonel’s statements, there is information indicating that a building supply firm operating at Ogden is already supplying concrete materials to completely blend in with the terrain,” he pledged. Later on, the Colonel, who has been out chain saws and machine guns! a University of Illinois nwespaper which regularGrowers responded by camouflaging plats, ly publishes a drug price list. Police said they setting up “walkie-talkie” warning systems, and stopped Priebe on the road for a minor traffic violation and asked him for his license. Priebe said | blocking roads. The narcs estimate that they will i eventually seize 79,725 plants, valued at (they his license was at home, so the police went with imayine) $79 million. him to get it. On their arrival, police said they According to the California Attorney Genefound an assortment of drugs spread out on a taral’s office, each raid costs about $3,000. Last ble, which led to the drug bust. : year there were 522 raids. If three times that ** The oldest dice on record have been found b number were conducted this year (a reasonable archeologists druing the excavation of Sumerian estimate) the total cost is in excess of $4.5 milsites on Bahrein Island in the Persian Gulf — and lion dollars(which is a heck of a lot of lunches for all of them are loaded. Cae poor children.) ter S. Thompson students and a contingent from Logan’s chapter of Mutants for a Radioactive Society. (Ed note: TEXT OF THE MESSAGE LEGISLATURE: Priebe, advertising manager of the “Daily Illini’, ** basing it in the Utah=Nevada desert. Contrary to ter shape than before it got there”. All of tions reported the embarassing incident. this gave the press, which generally has opposed the new paraphernalia law, an opportunity to fire both barrels at the Legsilature’s ill-conceived proposal. As John Ganga, muthical Gang member, commented, “If every freak in Utah would prank these clowns just once, they would live in con- stant of the urgent need to turn the Great Basin into the This really happened — its not a joke). The audience was less than convinced by the Colonel’s promises. of “When the Air Farce goes into a com munity, it tries to leave that community in bet- on the Today Show, on National Public Radio’s ‘‘All Things Coasidered”’, which had already been delivered to the Senate, had bulges in them due to the monstroussized He immediately panicked, believing in a joints. fit of paranoia that the Senators had just received letter bombs. Police seized the letters. The process, he admitted, “Sort of scared me at first’. Meanwhi’e, ‘some: members of the House had. opened their letters and were having appropriate reactions. Barkdull caused nearly all of the letters The state in both chambers to be confiscated. police lit up one of the American flag joints, tak- . ing massive nose hits, only to discover what they Later, much to their believed to be “alfalfa”. humiliation, they learned through anonymous sources that they really were parsley, not alfalfa. — A judge has ruled actually trying the “letter bomb”’ trip. The furor caused by the Gang’s latest prank , The Colonel indicated that work on the MX missile is going ahead at Thiokol in Box Elder County. He also stated that he ‘is. 150% sure of single largest arsenal of death in the history of the world. Greeting Col. Litzsinger were about 300 USU One anonymous source at the State Capitol indicated that Security is ser- that the letters, discovered Barkdull “Bulldog” procedures were establish- ed requiring any letters delivered to the Legislature without return addresses to be given to Secu- ‘rests (conservative suits, white shirt, string ties) presented the doormen of the House of Representatives and the Senate with 100 hand-rolled parsley joints taped to letters separately addressed to each member (see box this page). The chief of State House Security, D. H. or environmental impact statement. LOGAN — Colonel John Litzsinger, US Air Force Chief of Missile Systems made an appearance at Utah State University Tuesday, January 20th, in another futile attempt to convince Utah citizens The chief also later admitted that the Hole in the SLC — The notorious Hole in the Universe Gang . struck unexpectedly on Wednesday, February 4th, Rally Mutants Freaks Hold — - Magical Brownies” the flyer touted. Marching in. a San Francisco para‘le last Jaume, Mary Rathbun passed out the flyers advertising her line of baked goods. Business boomed for months afterwards at the Castro St. area apartment of “Brownie Mary” as she was affectionately known. It boomed, that is, until police raided Mary’s “bakery” in January and confiscated nearly 20 pounds of high grade Marijuana mushrooms. and a small supply of hallucin: genic Police claim Mary’s brownies were more like those of Alice B. Toklas fame. Mary contends she was just a free enterprise operation providing a service much in demand. The bakery was apparantly a lucrative enterprise for Mary, since police claim her operation Brownie Mary was A s This is understand; for $2 each or $20 entrepreneur offers said after working having any money, to make a bundle. released by the police on her own recognizance to await trial. A move is afoot in the Castro area of SF to start a “Brownie Mary Defence Fund”’. ke tk kok KKK KK tek kk |