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Show PAGE 33 THE ZEPHYROCTOBER 1992 a guide to local secret "hotspots" Sand Sheff by Oftentimes, we "locals" are asked by visitors to tell them of our secret sacred d and travelers say we are holding places. Surely, these out. Where is the "real" beauty and solitude of this land, the kind of experience that was promised by OUTSIDE and CONDE NASTY travel magazines, the tempting sultriness of coyote's landscape that faded so quickly in the traffic jam at Balanced Rock? Well, you caught us. There are a few places we have held back to ourselves. At much risk to myself and my reputation, I now shall reveal our most treasured hideaways where we locals rejuvenate our cosmic auras to become the spiritually awakened friends of Mother Nature that we are. red-eye- sun-wea- ry Author's Experience: Warm 3.2 beer, sticky back seat, general discontent How to find it:. Follow underground tunnel located beneath Holiday Haven trailer park. At mile 83 turn off headlights and chant Inuit whaling song (any will do). Government employee will open gate. 4) : Monticello: Monticello, city of light, city of night! Whether you're listening to the radical poets recite on the street comers or just getting bombed in the casinos, Monticello is sure to keep you excited and runnin' wild. Ask at the local temple for details. Great hiking trails available in the Blue Mountains. and message on your Time Required: Depends on bumpersticker. Author's Experience: Near lynching, fast exit. How to find ib Go north to Idaho, return and then reconsider. all-nig- ht well-mark- The Powerhouse Dam 1) Shiny glass sparkles in the sand. The gentle breeze spreads the sounds of desert wrens and Megadeath. You know you've come to the Powerhouse Dam. Take a swim, take a leap! Take some beer and make an underage friend. i Time Required: 3 12 minutes Author's Experience: Bewilderment, slight daze. ed hair-leng- th i! ii A . T How to find ib Drive 17 miles due west of Moab, make three throw up hands, scream at children. consecutive U-tur- ns, The Lion's Back Adjacent to new Lion's Back Campground, this sandstone wonder is easily accessible in typidd family sedan. Just follow tire tracks up the rock for spectacular view of Moab, Arches' and the dump. ' i; Time Required: no long. Author's Experience: Jim Beam, unromantic date. ' How to find ib Ask at Main Street Broiler after 3 pm. 21 . . Potash The delicate blue pools, the sandstone cliffs, . the tired and hostile employees. Who said you couldn't find the spirit of Southeast Utah? Be sure and bring your fishing pole; this is the only habitat of the endangered Potash Potato fish. Fried, baked, or barbecued (be sure and scrape meat before ' cooking) Don't mind the security guards-they- 're just kidding. - Time' Required: At least a day;' Lodging available at historic' town of Potash. Ask about pony rides! City Market Loop: You can always find locals at the City. Market. Whether they're buying diapers, 3.2 beer, or posting Xeroxes slandering their neighbors, locals know that "The Market" is the place to see and be seen. Must Sees: the picnic area just south of the store, the disoriented foreigners, shoplifters 7.. under arrest. 5) . Time Required: 8 hours Author's Experience: Browsed National Enquirer, got ID'ed for cigarettes. How to find ib Check Yellow Pages. 6-- 3) c'mon down! We're not afraid to share our special places with you swarming hordes of outsiders. Don't foxget that all our sights are connected by the newly constructed 300 mile Cold War Memorial Loop. Starts Behind the Rocks. Bring water, and happy trails. So .. "Perhaps the only thing better than watching the moonrise over the dramatic Castle Valley is to watch it while soaking in the hot tub at the Castle Valley Inn." , ; 7 - America's Wonderful Little Hotels & Inns . (1992 Edition), . . comfort amidst some of the Canyonlands' most splendid scenery Eight rooms, including three kitchenette bungalows, all with private baths, ($65-$95-), fine dining for registered . guests, eleven acres of orchards, lawns and fields. AAA rated. Relax in sophisticated Grandview hot tub...Full breakfast induded in room rates. innmHMMMM |