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Show THE ZEPHYR MAY 1990 PAGE 18 2 ;J- Go Slow on Caye Caulker also: Guinness Stout, Rum and the Royal Air Force by Jim Stiles There are two cars on Caye Caulker, a mangrove and palm lined Island off the an old coast of Belize. One vehicle maintains the Caye's antiquated "power system an ancient a diesel generator that breaks down several times day. The other automobile, Land Rover, delivers Belkin Beer, the official beer of Belize, to numerous restaurants and bars on the Island. Its Just as well that there Is a scarcity of vehicles, since there are no roads either. Two narrow sandy lanes run the length of the Inhabited portion of the Island, from the Tropical Paradise to the Cut Thats It two cars, two paths, no concrete. And there Is one traffic regulatory sign on the Island. It says "Go Slow, and thats the way It Is. It's probably too slow for most tourists, those on a schedule who carry their Itinerary In their pockets, and want fast service In restaurants, and dally linen service In their rooms. They will not be happy. Sometimes the hot water works, sometimes It doesnt If you get hungry In the afternoon, youre out of luck everything on Caye Caulker shuts down from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Everyday. Boat trip to the Reef always leaves late. Guaranteed. But It Is beautiful. And calm and crazy. During the day everyone swims and snorkels and stares at the sea. In the evening everyone drinks beer and rum punch and makes fools of themselves. I had the opportunity to do all these things. I wrote the following account from the end of Paradise pier, with a splitting headache and a shaky hand. I felt, at the time, like Death eating a cookie. But It was a glorious experience. Cheers..... for the rest of the night "Awfully damn watery though, grumbled Norrie. with an couple hundred yards up the lane, we came to Pirates, a big blue bam Belizeans ten About a bar. as old sail boat Inside that rested on a sandy floor and served were huddled around a TV set (satellite television has even come to Caye Caulker), tt. I looked up at the completely Involved with the program, Interacting with It, on fire with screen at the source of their rapt attention. Oh no. It was Big Time wrestling, and not some second rate minor league exhibition. This was the Hulkster himself, fighting for, well, whatever tt Is they fight for. For awhile, the Hulkster looked doomed. Some foul play by Andre the Giant had left the Golden Boy prostate and In agony on the canvas. The Belizeans booed and hissed the Bad Guys, and when the Hulkster rallied In the waning moments of the match to retain his belt, broke out on Caye Caulker, Belize. "What a bloody crock, growled Norrie, as he passed around the third round of Bellklns. "Id like to see how that Hulkster fellow would stand up against the RAFs finest Why wed tear him to pieces If the whole thing wasnt staged. Shawn and I nodded solemnly. Four beers had already begun to have their effect on me. For some odd reason, I was beginning to feel an unexplainable devotion to the Queen. "How are you guys feeling? I asked. "Never felt better, grinned Shawn. I shook my head. "You guys are going to drink me right under the table. Norrie slapped me on the back and laughed. "Dont feel bad, Yank. We drink under the table all the time. Were the RAF mate, dont forget that people "To the Royal Air Force, I said, raising my bottle, "Long may she fly. We clinked our bottles and finished our Bellklns. We were developing a powerful hunger by now and so we headed for the Reef to eat something to eat But first another round of beers? Why not, I said. I knew I was getting drunk because I started feeling sentimental and melancholy. I always get that way when I drink too much. "Hell, yes, I said. "You guys ought to be proud. Fifty years ago, the damn RAF saved this planet from those Nazi bastards. Theyd fuel their Spitfires and arm them and go up and do battle with the Luftwaffe and If they were lucky enough to survive that encounter, and go back up again. Young kids, really. Nineteen.... and m theyd land and el Battle of Britain. For all of mankind.... You should be proud. the twenty years old, fighting I looked at Norrie and Shawn. We were all on the verge of tears. Before long, I was heavy Into the history of WWII, Roosevelt and Churchill, the man called Intrepid, the bombing of Coventry.... "I think youre the first guys Ive ever met who were Interested In this stuff, I said. "It puts people to sleep back home. As breath takingly beautiful as It can be, even Paradise can be lonely at times. One "Well, mate, said Norrie, "we never met a Yank who was Interested either. How afternoon on Caye Caulker, the Big Blue Funk grabbed me by the Jaws and tried to drag me come you know so much about the war? down to those unfathomable depths of despair called the Blues. I went along willingly, as "Its hard to explain, I said. guess I dont really believe It, but sometimes I think I sometimes do. Not wanting to be alone, yet at the same time taking shelter In tt. I lived through that war, and that I died In tt. I keep remembering a woman In a red dress As I walked wearily along Caulkers sandy lane, I became Intrigued with the In a London pub, and I still get choked up when I hear Glenn Millers Serenade In Blue. Islands dogs. They are a mongrel lot for sure (the best kind), mostly terrier, collie mixes, I know Its all goofy as Hell, and I wouldn't even be telling you this, but after five Bellklns but without a doubt the most laid back, unagresslve group of canines I have ever seen. and a Gulness Stout, I dont keep too many secrets. They rarely bark or exhibit any sort of aggressive behavior. In fact, they are very much like Norrie glanced around him to see If anyone was eavesdropping on our the Cayes human Inhabitants. Whether the dogs are a reflection of the owners, or the conversation (as If anybody cared). He scooted his chair close to the table and Indicated owners are a reflection of their dogs, Is a question that no mortal can answer. But the fact for us to do the same. The three of us leaned over our beers. Is, both species have found a certain peace on Caye Caulker. This Is bloody strange, Yank, Norrie said solemnly. "Ive never told this to a Id been recording In my mind the various Caulker Canine Sleeping Postures that livin soul except me wife, but Im going to tell you because I think youll understand. Id observed since arriving. Some dogs like to lie In the shade of a palm tree trunk, being In spite of all the alcohol, Norrie was dead serious. careful to align themselves with the shadow and not across It The most Ingenious sleeping "I've had the same feeling meself, he continued. "Many years ago, me wife and method I observed came from the dogs that zonked out on the stairs of the many stilt I were traveling In Belgium. We came to a little village and stopped at the Inn there for a houses on the caye. Taking advantage of the slight elevation allowed them to catch the sea bite to eat As we sat at a table waiting for our food, the strangest feeling came over me. an Improvised "flow through ventilation. They lay on their sides, breeze on all sides I couldnt explain It, but I turned to me wife and said This place doesn't exist' Me wife their legs dangling from the step, oblivious to everything but the sun, the breeze, and the thought Id gone batty. She said, 'Of course, R exists.... We're sitting here arent we?' good life. "This place doesn't exist, I said. 'I died right here In 1940. By now me wife I saw two guys with a camera, trying to photograph such a dog. They dog could I was completely daft But do you know what? When the waitress came by, I said have cared less. He was somewhere else. I could tell by their dress and demeanor that my thought Is Otenble Isnt It? She said, Well, yes and no. We've ltt since the war, but fellow dog watchers were British soldiers, probably from the nearby Royal Air Force Base. This was In Otenble from face of earth Nazis. 1940 the the Theres a field of graves wiped by the And I was right British soldiers who died trying to save It' So you see, Yank, weve down the lane Just "Not a bad life for a dog, I said. got something In common. "A bloody good one, Id say, replied one of them. I could feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck and a cold chill ran down my He looked around for my companion and didnt see anyone. Shawn raised his bottle spine. gravely and said, To all the lads who died In battle. May "Are you out here alone, Yank? he asked. to die again. never have you I told him that I was. Norrie and I nodded and finished our Bellklns. But the reverence of the moment "Hey, that's no fun In a place like this If you 'avent got a pal along. You come was soon shattered by a beer bottle that sailed over our heads and shattered on the wall along with us, and well drink us a few beers and then have a bit of a meal together. What behind the bar. do you say? "Oh good, said Norrie, "a fight Things were getting too damn serious at this I said It sounded damn good to me. I Introduced myself to both of them. table. "Norman Pearce, R.A.F.," he said. "Call me Norrie. This Is Shawn Martin, and The battle appeared to be between a father and his son. The older man was a were damn glad to meet you, Yank. In ugly. He had a body like a big Idaho potato. His head protruded from the shoulders Our plan as It developed was to walk down to the Tropical Paradise for a beer and studyno Indication whatsoever that he had, or ever had, a neck. It did not appear, anyway, with then work our way north, from one bar to the next, until we got hungry. At the Paradise, that the man could turn his head. His son, on the other hand, looked like any other lanky, Norrie Insisted that I drink something other than Bellzean-maBellkln Beer Id been relying Fear In his eyes. he had Irresponsible teenager, except on since I arrived. "YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE PUNK! the potato man screamed. "I WISH YOU'D "Why you might as well be drinking water, mate. said Shawn. "You need BEEN SUCED UP BY THE ROTOR! something more substantial. A real beer. "It wasnt my fault! explained the kid. "It was..... an act of God! Norrie ordered me a Guinness Stout, a very heavy beer, brewed In Ireland. I "BULLSHIT! yelled the father, and he threw another bottle. It like looked It Vicks Into Formula 44.... a not could It light glass. through pass poured Later, after the smoke had cleared, we learned the facts that lay behind the fire. Norrie and Shawn leaned eagerly across the table as I took my first sip. Young Chuck had decided to take their little 8 foot Zodiac Inflatable with Its 25 hp Mercury "Well, Yank, Norrie asked, "what do you think? Now that's beer, right?" outboard motor for a spin around the Caye. That's a lot of HP for a craft that weighs next "Real good, Norrie, I grimaced. "It reminds me of something but I cant quite to nothing. With no weight In the front. Its easy to flip, but thats not exactly what tt. place happened. "Well," said Shawn, seeing my puckered expression, "It Is a beer that you have to Instead, a big wave flipped poor Chuck out of the boat, and the Zodtec, free at last cultivate a taste for. of human constraint, headed out to sea. Chuck treaded water for an hour from bonds the . "Yeah, I agreed, "maybe I can build tt up a little at a time. his become a speck on the horizon. Finally a Belizean fisherman who Zodiac watching I finished the Guinness, and then Norrie and Shawn agreed wed stick to Bellkln A Hulk-A-Ma- nla re-fu- re-ar- 1 re-bu- de . |