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Show ADVENTURERS' CLUB J HEADLINES FROM THE LIVES OF PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELFI "Death by Proxy" By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter HELLO EVERYBODY: There's only one thing I know that's less profitable than being a burglar, and that's just posing as one. And Distinguished Adventurer Willard G. Stanton of Bloomfield, N. J., ought to agree with me there. Once upon a time, when Bill was a youngster of sixteen, he tried that little stunt. Not purposely, of course. Bill's intentions were perfectly per-fectly O. K. But it doesn't make any difference what your Tf .,,, m, n ;f nn ltlm a burglar, first thing you know somebody is going to think you ARE a burglar and treat you accordingly. Back in 1907, when this adventure happened to Bill, he lived in an old fashioned apartment house in Brooklyn. At least it would look old-fashioned old-fashioned today. At that time it was probably the last word in apartment apart-ment houses. It had a stairway running up the center of the building, and there were two apartments to the floor. The doors of the living rooms opened on the stair landing, and the outer doors were fitted with ground glass panels. The glass was opaque. You couldn't exactly see through it But when you were on the inside looking out you could tell when someone some-one was at the door, because you could see a shadow of a human figure against the glass. Remember those panels. They've got a lot to do with the story-Burglars story-Burglars Alarmed the Old Ladies. Bill's family had an apartment on the fourth and top floor of that building. Across the hall lived two old ladies retired school teachers-one teachers-one of whom was slightly deaf. Remember that deaf old lady, too. Bullets Whizzed Over Bill's Bead. Between her and the glass panels, Old Lady Adventure managed to cook up quite a thrill for Bill Stanton. About three o'clock one November morning, Bill was awakened out of a sound sleep by a loud, insistent pounding. As he came out of a half-doze, he realized that the pounding came from the wall, on the other side of which the two old ladies slept Something was wrong in their apartment! Bill jumped out of bed and went into his own living room. Then he saw what the trouble was. On the ground glass panels of the door leading to the hall he could see two shadowy figures. They were over by the door of the old ladies' apartment and they seemed to be trying to jimmy the lock. So that was it! Burglars, trying to get in next door! The old ladies had beard them and pounded on the wall to attract Bill's attention. Bill called out, "Who's there?" and began rattling the door knob. The two figures moved noiselessly to the stairs and began be-gan to descend. Bill was sixteen, and impetuous. Be ran out of - his apartment and started to follow the two men down the stairs. "Right there," he says, "Is where my adventuring career started." Bill Was in a Tight Place. Bill followed the crooks down two flights of stairs, but they were Ua fast for him. He was in pajamas, and he couldn't very well dash out into the street after them anyway. Not on a cold night in November. He turned around and went slowly back up the stairs. Bill got to the top and put his hand on the doorknob. The door was locked. In his haste to follow the two men he had slammed it behind him. In his pajamas and without a key in his pocket, it looked as if he was going to have some trouble getting back in. He stood for a moment considering his plight, and then, suddenly he heard a voice coming from the next apartment It was one of the old ladies the deaf one and her tone was ominous. omi-nous. "If you don't go away," she yelled, "I'll shoot." All at once Bill realized what a tight situation he was in. The old lady could see his shadow through the glass door and thought he was one of the departed burglars. He knew she kept a gun in her apartment and didn't have any doubt that she would do just what she threatened to do. Shot At by a Deaf Woman, i "I thought I had a good pair of lungs," says Bill, "and I screamed back: 'Don't shoot. It's me.' But I didn't count on that old lady being deaf. Before I had a chance to get In another an-other word I heard a loud report and a bullet came crashing through the door. It was followed by two more. Then I dropped flat on the floor, and while I lay there, three more shots Imbedded Imbed-ded themselves In the wall over my head." The shots stopped then, but Bill lay right where he was, afraid to stir lest the slightest motion bring more of that hot lead his way. Then, inside his own apartment he heard his mother open a window and start screaming for the police. Still Bill stayed where he was. Courage is one thing, but when a panic-stricken old lady starts blazing away right and left with a revolver, there isn't any sense in giving her a mark to shoot at Bill lay right where he was until the police came. Then he got up again. He looked himself over and was relieved to find that he hadn't been hit by any of those wild bullets, but he found an ominous little hole in the sleeve of his pajamas that showed just how close he had come to having a funeral Instead of just an adventure. "And nowadays," now-adays," says Bill, "when there is any burglar hunting to be done, I do It by telephone." Copyright WNU Service. |