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Show r-psr-l On the I ( IS Funny (W Side DESCRIBED "I met a woman named Brown I yesterday and wondered It, sbe was your wife." I "I don't know Mrs. Brown what Is she like?" - "She's a woman of tifty who does not look more tlinn forty, Imagines site looks only thirty, dresses as If she were twenty and talks os If she were ten." Not the Riflht Kind, ghe John. I found mice In the pan-iry pan-iry this afternoon. He Well, .what do you wani me to do ahout It? 1 She Couldn't you bring home that kitty from the club I heard you talk-tng'about talk-tng'about In your sleep? I One Reason for Thankfulness. "I am miserable," declared Phyllis. "Why?" asked her friend. -"I am beginning to realize that Reginald Regi-nald married mi for my money." "Well, at least you have the consolation consola-tion of' knowing that he Is not as stupid as he looks." J Better Authority. "It was Shakespeare, wasn't It, who said, 'Sweet are the uses of ad-versity't" ad-versity't" "Shakespeare may have said It ortst nally, but I heard It from a lawyer who had pocketed 65 per cent of an estate." Boston Evening Transcript. Moving Up One. "A good many of the most successful businesses believe In promotion." said the old citizen of Little Lot. "When a high-salaried mnn gets through, the only thing necessnry Is to hire a new office boy." Youth's Companion. Com-panion. Important Consideration. She I trust. Jack, that our mnr-Huge mnr-Huge will not be against your father's will. He I hope not; It would be tough for us If he should change It. THE MYSTERY OF IT Mary Does your husband enjoy Bolff ', Alice Yet, but I can't understand why. He geU so mad at himself vtrytlme he plays It Exemplary. An a model of social politeness. Take the echo-It beata us aU. You never heard of an echo That failed to return one's call. Cynical Definition. "Pa, what is politeness?" j "Politeness, my son, Is the art of not letting other people know what we think of them." , He Didnt Understand. "Socrates drank hemlock." "I don't think I have yet sampled that brew," responded Uncle Tobe Snarl. Domestic. "For heaven's sake, John, why are you spanking the buby? What has he done?" "Nothing, fur's I know, Mary; but 1 gotta do something f keep him reminded re-minded who 1 am around here." Nice Hint for Father. Tt was the beginning of the wedding trip. "Dear," the bride Inquired anxiously, anx-iously, "in the excitement of leaving did you say gixd-by to papa aud ma miliar "No," he said, "1 said 'Au revolr.'" Safe Waters. First Angler Thi paper reports another an-other case of a bather being bitten by t (tan. Second Angler (after a blank day) Ah. well. It would be sufe enough bathing here I Says a Lecturer. "It takes a Boston audience to fol-. low yon." "Yes?" "They even get abend of you at times." The Obvious Gesture. "If you were suddenly Informed by n lawyer that you had fallen heir to s million dollars, what would ypu do?" "I'd call for a Rtliiiiilnnt." replied the Impecunious citizen. "Do you think I'm made of cast Iron?" Same Effect. Visitor Yon must hnve been visit' ed by a .had hurricane from the 110-pearanco 110-pearanco of your building. parincr N'; I rented my farm last month to a movie, concern to make s i Bvu-reol comedy. Win I'un. 1 ' ' " |