OCR Text |
Show T '' ' "5pding A ROBIN sat on the telephone wire In front of my, home this morning morn-ing and chirped reprovingly at my bull-dog carrying, bones into the yard. Then she called sweetly for her red-breasted mate and together togeth-er they twittered of love In a great elm tree along the , road where the violets vi-olets bloom and the lake laps joyously joy-ously upon the shining pebbles. And as I unrolled un-rolled a string of sod and set it s y m m e trically against my new iris bed, I caught a glimpse of Doc-tor Doc-tor Johnson emerging from the wood, a load of young trees upon his democrat wagon. He chirped me a glad good morning as he clucked to uod-bins uod-bins and hurried homeward to dress for breakfast and his day in the city. And after Doctor Johnson came Bill Pelham, a nature faker built like a pipe-cleaner, who came to the suburbs with hardly enough breath to make first base on a two-bag hit. And it was great fun, in those days, to watch Pelham dig a tree. When he had become innoculated of the simple-life simple-life bug and injected with the viris of tree digging, he had to wear straps on his wrists to brace the tender muscles. And how the fresh air and the digging did put color in his bleached-out office of-fice face and braces in his spindling back! And, by and by, as I puttered with the rake, Bill Patch came along to see about those rose bushes. Davis and Woods and Roderus passed with their plunder of vines and bushes. My, what a'lot of fresh air bugs! And up on the hill, Doug. Robinson was still yawning in bed and asking his wife if it was a sunny morning. Doug, was vaccinated, but it didn't take. And this is the way the simple life suburbanites out in my town earn their breakfasts. Down at the station Doctor Johnson tells you of when he was spindling and weak, when his breath was short and his head ached. "Look- at me now," said the doctor swelling heroically, until one looks nervously at his vest buttons and calculates cal-culates their strength. "And Elwell you know Elwell down by the springs. Well, he was a Chicago Chi-cago dentist and he came out here to die. He was all run down, and ' resigned re-signed to his fate. Today he is as hearty as I am! That's what this air and tree digging does for a man!" And the doctor is right. We all stay too much indoors. There is health and happiness to all, but no one can be happy without it. Idle Thoughts. ' - A suburbanite can buy more trouble in a dollar's worth of garden seeds than some men can in a dollar's worth of booze., & ft It is surprising how a city man can spoil $47 worth of clothes planting ten cents' worth of spring peas. 'it fffij Wealth never yet permitted a man to wear a silk hat and a short coat without being laughed at. it -it -it . 'S To a bachelor who can find the right attachment, the greatest book in the world is a cook book. Detected. "Mebbe you'd like to put a piece about me in yer paper," quavered the old man, hobbling up to the city editor's ed-itor's desk. "What have you done?" demanded the arbiter of publicity's destiny. "Nothin' much, but I was a hundred year old yesterday." "A hundred, eh? But can you walk without a stick, and read fine print without glasses?" "N no." "You are an impostor!" The old man br,oke down and confessed con-fessed that he was only 97. Cleveland Leader. Nature Fakers. The Britt (la.). Tribune man tells of a new breed of Montana hog which has recently re-cently been imported into that county. These hogs have no kinks in thoir tails like the ordinary hog. Their tails are three-cornered like a file and very large. When a coyote gets after them they spring into the air. alight on their tails and. with the rapidity of lightning, whirl around, boiSng themselves into the ground out of reach ot their enemy. This farmer has a mile of fence to build, and will utilize the hog to bore the post holes. He stakes the hog out where he wants a post hole and sets the dog on him. The hog bores a hole in u second, and when the hole is deep enough the farmer calls It out with a pall of swill. He then stakes It out where he wants the next hole, and repeats re-peats the operation. A mile of post-holes post-holes can be dug in a day In this way. These hogs have such long hips that their hams reach clear to their shoulders and the whole hog cuts up Into hams, shoulders, headcheese and pigs' feet; they have no tenderloin or aide meat -BYRON WILLIAMS. ' '; 1. ''4 |