HOLIDAY/ JANUARY 1997 APPIN: @eeeeoee We | Pasa Alpine ing, skiing, cross biathlon, languages on ski skiing, skis, jumpforeign By I.B. Rappaport telemarking, By 1.B. snowboarding, snow camping, snow- Park. from at Yellowstone Call 649-3480 National or 585-7313 Salt Lake. Winter Sports Classes for credit, Park City ae GET HIGH THE FOR DOLLER or not-for-credit Continuing Education eo QUALITY PRINTING noncredit WITH University of Utah COLOR PENNIES ON SAME DAY SERVICE f BEADS FROM AROUND THE \\K Rappaport Dear Santa, Well, here it is holiday season and time to wish everyone the best. Some of us have had a good year, others have endured an annum that might be best summed up as “challenging.” Anyway, Santa, here’s my Christmas wish list for some of our favorite Utahns. Please, Santa, come through for these folks. For Salt Lake City Mayor Deedee Corradini, who had to sell her mansion on Tomahawk Drive to bail herself out of massive the Bonneville Pacific fraud case, I’m asking, Santa, for a brand new house. I was going to ask you to give her a new car. But that was before I saw she tapped the taxpayers for a brand new, loaded Eddie Bauer Ford Explorer. Instead, Santa, give Deedee a big new house with a nice view of Franklin Quest Field, an indoor pool, hot tub and golf course. And while we're at it, Santa, get Deedee a new media spokesman, one who will actually talk shoeing, adaptive skiing or a winter adventure eoeeeseoeoeeeaeeeeneoeevesce Christmas Wish List for Utah’s Leaders ene country oe ' ear) to reporters. \ \ \\\ \ t VD IE = SAO) : FILM, NO PLATES, SAME NOT NO IDEAL FOR HIGH OT 200 LESS THAN JOB FOR 500 QUANTITY. FOR MOR INFORMATION PLEASE CALL 1-801-364-0498 COMMITED TO DIGITAL MEDIA SERVICES 435 WEST 400 SOUTH, SLC UT eT ay OY ad Pa FLY- just ask” ‘ Ma HAIR WRAPS BY APPT. WRAP ONLY $1” PER INCH ERS, BROUCHERS, ARTIST PORTFOLIO’S OR ANY COLOR already seems to know the Wizard of Oz, you'd think Mikey could ask for a little courage, himself. If the spine implant operation is a success, Santa, maybe next year you could give him decision-making classes. For Rep. Jim Hansen Santa, please bring a big supply of Prozac. The congressman is so mean-spirited, We're here to serve COPY QUALITY ernor out of the line of fire. Since, he AUS C OLS OSC SET UP DAY 24 SERVICE. A COLOR For Gov. Mike Leavitt, Santa, I’m asking for a nice, new, stiff backbone. Seems like the governor still can’t decide whether he should raise taxes to pay for new freeways and other transportation upgrades. Maybe the Legislature will do it, keeping the gov-. SSTam atc) ST CHARGES, ans © (lasses for Unusual Projects SST CURA Tas UC Children /Sterling Ball Chain SPS ie wy PTO CR aL Oni DIGITAL SHORT RUN COLOR PRINTING NO tet Ont a O00 [see] UC) \200) J00 [see] APPAPORT 9447 S. 700 EAST So VW (WEST SIDE OF SANDY MALL) ry Lb») Mon.-Fri. 10-7 Sat. 10-6 84101 PAGE he obviously needs a little help, Santa. If not Prozac, then maybe Preparation H. There must be a burr under his saddle somewhere, Santa, cause he keeps acting like he just ate a bunch of loco weed. Or perhaps a vibrator is the answer, Santa. The man obviously suffrom pleasure deprivation. fers Anyway, I know you'll figure something out Santa, just please do it soon. For Sen. Orrin Hatch, Santa, | 18 would like a hearing aide. You know, one of those new ones that nobody can see. For the last 20 years or so, Santa, Orrin seems unable to hear anybody but himself. I’m sure a hearing aide would help with that horrible problem he has with righteous indignation. Whether it’s welfare for unwed young mothers or the new Escalante Monument, Orrin well he seems, seems nuts, Santa. Oh, and while you're at it, please give Orrin some music lessons. Those songs he writes for his wife are just unbearable Santa. Please. For Frank Pignanelli, the former Democratic minority leader in the Legislature, Santa, please send some Mormon missionaries. You see, Santa, Frank keeps that insisting nonMormons can’t win political races in Utah. But if Frank could just convert to Mormonism, maybe he would win an election and quit his whining. And Santa, better drop a copy of Emily Post's book on ethics into Frank’s stocking. That might help him identify some of the important things where leadership is concerned For Salt Lake Olympic guru Tom Welch, Santa, please bring an ego. Oh yeah, I know Mr. Welch already has an ego — who doesn’t. But I’m asking for a smaller ego — one that will fit, say, into the Delta Center or the Tabernacle. That way, when the entire world gets here for 2002 Olympics, they'll think he is only a normal ego-maniac, instead of some-< one parading as a false Messiah. Oh, and Santa, while you're at it, better give Tom a raise. That paltry $350,000 a year is really quite beneath him. For Salt Lake County Commissioner Randy Horiuchi, Santa, please bring a train set. Better make that a light rail train set, you know, the kind with whistles and little people standing at the train station. That way Randy will quit fighting with Deedee over the UTA. And Santa, better bring Randy an engineer’s hat. He’s too modest to admit it, Santa, but Randy really likes to drive. Maybe if Randy could drive his own train he would leave poor old Bill Pingree at UTA alone. @