BETTER HAD 1 BE TOLD TRUTH IF HE BEEN ADOPTED I HAS I I MYRTLE YRTLE MEYER ELDRED ELDREDa O a tell or not to tell an adopted I IIi fd Ii d of his unique place in the fam- fam fi j a question which harasses the ent nt from the moment she takes lakes e momentous step of adoption iere ere re are arc arguments argument on both sides question and one realizes it t t tIt It Is b hard bard for adoptive p parents rents I It apprIze a child that he doesn't l long ng to them knowing In the their r wi hearts how completely he does em tn to be theirs But It Is only In Isolated d cases at lit a child could go through ugh life Ute being informed In some iy of ot his adoption This Is a legal to be bened bened ep p. p There are arc papers ned the real parents must part with a child On One could lose oneself so c completely In iy part of ot the country countr as to make certain ertain that at some time somei some- some i would not remember these ps ps I cal ul parents parent real brothers and andins tiers ins have a way of turning up ping to renew ties of relationship in Infancy At such a time IT i the th child chUd to discover that he heS S a different heritage Is an emo- emo onal shock from froni which he may mayer ever er recover If this happens at when when even cven our own re I sure they must belong else else- here here so different do do they feel families the families the em om om their humdrum lock bek ck is devastating It may mean meanie ie permanent ruin of a beautiful l fit t seems seems' better In view of all se ize se possibilities to take pains c m om the childs child's earliest childhood lays lys to l let t him hini know that he was wanted child the free choice of parents s For any child to grow p with this knowledge takes all allting ting Ing from it It becomes instead measure neasure of distinction and withe with withie he ie e increasing numbers of oC adopted the child joins a growing of others like himself Likewise filial devotion is not dedent de- de dent entirely up upon n blood rel o There are parents and who feel nothing but ani an an- i for each other Foster rents rents' wh who exhibit a real and sin- sin ire ere affection and devotion for foster children inevitably rouse rouse in them thema la a like devotion This rii is in no way a connected with knowledge ic of their adopted re- re and is not jeopardized by b y t It is because of all these elc- elc dc- dc of ot the situation that agencies agen- agen agen agen- lei cies engaged in wholesale adoptions advise the parents to tell rb their children 1 from the beginning that they are arc chosen children It is end the sa safest st and kindest policy