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Show PITH AND POINT. -The mother-in-law does not remember that she was once a daughter-in-law.-Spanish Proverb. -Minnesota has just exhumed the skeleton of a woman who must have stood nine feet high and had a foot as long as a nail keg. Anybody missing from Northern Indiana?-Detroit Free Press. -The Rector (to Irish plasterer on ladder pointing a wall); "That mortar must have been very bad." Pat (with a grin): "Faux, ye can't expict the likes o' good Roman cimint to stick to a Protestant church, sorr!"-Punch. -They were courting: "What makes the stars so dim to-night?" she said, softly. "Your eyes are so much brighter," he whispered, pressing her hand. They are married now. "I wonder how many telegraph poles it would take to reach the stars from here?" she said, musingly. "One, if it was long enough," he growled. "Why don't you talk common sense?" -An old peasant on the south shore of Long Island was telling his visitor how pleasant it was. "But," asked the friend, slapping his face with his handkerchief, "don't you have a great many mosquitoes and sand-flies?" "Ya-as," said the man, "but then we sorter like them." "How can that be?" "Wa-al, you see, we feel so kinder good when they go away."-N. Y. Tribune. -The King of Bavaria has announced that he will not read books printed in quarto size. We shall remember this when we issue our book-provided the King promises to buy eight hundred copies of a 1,000 edition. This would leave only two hundred volumes on our hands as dead stock, which would be doing pretty well, considering the quality of the book.-Norristown Herald. -It is a very cold day when a new agony isn't forthcoming. It is now quite the idea for a young lady to send a miniature Japanese parasol to a kindly disposed gentleman friend. It is a small matter, but fraught with this deep significance: "Summer is coming by and by. Will you carry my sun umbrella by the shimmering, shining sea?" The young gentleman immediately proceeds to bank his cigar and beer money, that he may have enough on hand for a shore dinner for two.-New Haven Register. -Pat borrowed some money of a friend, and was unable to pay it back when he came for it; and the friend became very angry, and said: "Now, Pat, if you don't pay me that money by next Monday, I shall give you a thrashing." The next day, as Pat was strolling along the street, he jostled a man, who cried out, "Look out what you are doing, or I will knock you into the middle of next week." "Be jabors' an' I wish ye wud, sorr, for then I wud be over Mundy."-N. Y. Sun. |