Show W f Walter t twi wi Winchell h nl On Ot Broadway vav I Copyright 1931 by Dally Daily Mirror Inc Portrait of a Man Ian Talking to Himself So Judge Dunn of Maryland considers ladies ladles of the stage women of ol more or less easy virtue Really I could name n Judge Dunn five i Judges of more or less easy virtue to every actress he can name The traffic congestion In town Is caused by all aU those jud Judges es running for trains c A S S SIve Ive I've lost my alleged friends joining In the fun fun fun- or ribbing as they call it ft It To o rib a guy is to tease him into an embarrassing ay ee shun So the mob used me to put it over and the rags fell Now poor Russ Columbo Is the bait His pals promoted a gal with a a. Swedish dialect to keep keel phoning him She told Russ I OIl luff you ou so motch motel I Garbo Dont Don't told nobody nobody- I by you place vare you ou sink and so trilled And spurious pash notes not were sent to Russ signed Greta He spent a young oung fortune fortune fortune for for- tune on posies for her And some papers went for It It too so Columbo lost nothing but his dig dig- e Q S S That dope on some Des Moines sheet sure got his garbled to fill a 1 paragraph He reports that 1 was angry with a Des Moines reader over the line New York is the diamond stickpin on the shirt front of America and that the reader said Dont you jou mean Its It's the gravy spot e eI I wish those thoi e college newspapers wouldn't Interview Inter view me mc I never ne know what to tell them I could fake It I now know but that's too hard That Yale News reporter What do I think of college education I 1 dont don't know I 1 truthfully told him I 1 never had any You didn't ho exclaimed Nope I 1 didn't I said Well he said then what do you ou think of Schools of Journalism Now what could I say If IC I said they COLLEGE were fine how fine how do 1 know that they MEN l ARE are So I 1 said they were fine NUISANCES so ho would chan change e the subject Then he said What do you think of college men So I told him him they were all aU right but when I was a song dance man manthey manthey manthey they frightened me mc at New Haven and Ann Arbor and at Champaign IlL by swiping the gal off my mj arm ann although they returned her to the hotel safe but not so 50 sound hours later When I 1 could have dismissed it all allm in two sentences and told him truthfully that college men sober or dizzy were ere always always al al- ways nuisances In night clubs for with that cutIn cutIn cutIn cut In stuff free for were always alwa's started and they never wound up on the thc winning side yet et In fewer words ten ten college boys invariably act half hall their age e S There appears to be a to-do to among certain to- to doers about the movie magnates et al gumming u up matters in the Frankenstein In flicker It doesn doesn't t seem Important enough to bother about though The argument Is that Frankenstein was not the name of the monster What difference does It make And so saying Think The Gabbo let the subject drop 4 0 S Wonder what a composite picture would look like of Ben Turpin's eyes Joe E. E Browns Brown's mouth James Durantes Durante's nose and Clark Clarl Gables Gable's ears c S S The one about Laval Is a pippin k The They it seems asked him after ho returned to his Paree Farce his estimation of the strangest thing he had noticed noticed noticed no no- while here So Mace Mace- Mace Laval La al replied that the United States had many wonderful things but the strangest drink was one called tho the cocktail And this is how they make it he Is supposed supposed sup sup- posed to have ha chirped They put in wl whisky sky to tomake tomake tomake make it strong then wat water r to make it weak gin ginto ginto ginto to make it hot and Ice to make it cold lemon tomake to tomake tomake make it sour sugar to male make it sweet s then they say Heres Here's to you and then drink It themselves a Demands at Albany preclude my looking toward the White House Governor House Governor Franklin D. D Roose Roose- velt What I wont won't do do in time to that internal revenue revenue rev rev- man man man-Al Al Capone Well folks I 1 guess Ill I'll string along with Herb Herbas as No 2 man Vice Vice President Charles Curtis In 32 the populace will pull the star-marked star lever John Ie John J J. J Raskob A navy mightier than all The Stars and Stripes forever William forever William H. H Gardiner |