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Show CURRENT WJT. I'li'ked Vp Here and There for the Times' fteaclem, Circuit court hugging. Dry rot-The toper's estimate of prohibition eloquence. A spoiled ibllu-The one that played with a lighted lump. 'How do you llko your beau, Jennie?" "Ho's a fellow alter my own heart." Put two doors side by side and tho small boy will go through the one that squeaks. We nay mouse, and we say mice . Now, why Isn't the plural of spouse spice 1 Why are rats better than tomatoes! Because tomatoes make only catsup, while rats make a cat-supper. He We swells rarry watches In our canes. The glrls-That's nothing, we girls have clocks In our stockings. The man who threatens to commit suicide when he Is in low spirits is a sare enough venture ven-ture for a life Insurance company. When a man Is fortunate In business he attributes at-tributes the fact to his ability. When ho is unfortunate un-fortunate be bewails bis bad luck. Why Is a beehive like a rotten potato? A beehive bee-hive Is a bee-holder and a beholder Is a operator, opera-tor, consequently, spectator is a rotton potato. City Girl (pointing to the starry sky) ' That cluster of stars is the dipper." Country Cousin "Is that sor Which cluster is the pail. "X seem very popular with your father's dog," said Herbert to Mabel. "Indeed" "Yes; tho last time I tried to take my leave he did his best to detain me." Proprietor (Brmlyj "Your account, Mr. Weeks, has now been running for six mouths." Weeks (blandly) "Well, suppose we let It rest for a year or two !" Popinjay (passing store) "Oood gracious! What Is the matter with that man leaning over the counter In there J" Blobson "Oot a coun- torfelt, I guess." A little boy who had to rock the cradle for his buby sister astonished his mother thus : "Mamma, "Mam-ma, If the Lord has any more babies to give away, don't you take 'em." Western Man "Now, ' candidly, sir, what kind ot a country Is New EnRlaudl" Boston man (enthusiastically) "It's (lod's own country, coun-try, but (sadly) the devil's own climate." Tom "Jack, old boy, 1 hear you ure getting to be quite a Hon in society!:" Jack (whose Rock Island stock Is somewhat of!) "Yes, Tom; but I'm nothing but a lamb In Wall street after all." Jack (leaving the lodge with Jem) "Does your wife wait tip for you when you are out late, Jem?" Jem (with a melancholy trtiake of his head) "She does, Jack, she does, I'm sorry to say." Millionaire's daughter (entering photograph gallery and posing gracefully) "Will you take me, sir, just as I anil" Photographer (who can hardly make both ends meet) "I'll be glad to without one plea," A notice to spoon collectors. A lad of forty summers Wooed a maid of thirty Juues, And the stars looked down at one A. M. On the latest thing In spoons. The Rev. Mr. Slim "You must remember, my young friend, ' that the soul is the body's guest,'" Youug friend (looking him over) "Well. It must sometimes malie very Impolite' refllctlous ou the accommodations." Kuaggs "You say that Twlrler gets three thousand dollars a year as a baseball' player"' Buggs "Yes." Hnaggs "WpII, what does ho do all winter?" Buggs "Keeps himself in practice by pitching into his wife." Tramp Madam, have you auytliing for mo this morning Housewife We've a little something in the barrel, but I'm afraid It's h heavy as lead. Tramp (smiling) I tulnk 1 can digest It, uiadam. Where is tbe barret? Housewife Hitched to tho gun, . . "This House Kor Sail I" the placard read, And erethcro was a bid, A Kansas cyclone struck the place- And, suro enough, it did. |