Show Dos Do's and don'ts of successful online dating Owen Hemsath Contributing Writer I r met my wife on on a dating site proposed on and our family attended our Vegas wedding via live streaming Internet video This isn't your fathers father's world wide web When two percent of all marriages in the United States come from alone it may be time to face the fact that Internet dating sites have replaced the Regale Beagle as the main place to meet your mate Although the same social protocols apply to fostering an online attraction dating on the web can be tricky since their implementation is a bit different Mastering verbal non-verbal communication skills in addition to a reliance non-reliance on bod body y language can take months and hundreds of dollars dollarson on end dead-end dates a pai pain n Ive I've begrudgingly taken take n upon myself As such Ive I've e compiled a list designed t to o help the virt virtual al Casanova Casanov a make the jump from online zero to romantic hero 1 Joining a Site Do Join a few different t sites at first Dating sites site s vary very general t to o niche sites that are designe d for a group like single e I 4 parents or Christians Be sure to join at least one of each in order to objectively establish your comfort zone After a little time you will si sites es is best for you Dont Don't Pay for a membership until you have received a decent response rate Most sites offer a free up sign-up but wont won't allow email or chat communication with other members until a fee is paid You might p pay y for a site only to later realize that its interface is not user-friendly user or or that there are simply no members in your area 2 Creating a profile Do Post at least words Be sure to accurately exemplify your personality and interests Use humor and wit to entice a possible mate and leave out the sob story about your ex If you like model airplanes and then them find a clever way to say so Also post posta poste a minimum of 3 pictures that illustrate your best bes look your group of friends and you doing something you love hiking fishing snowboarding etc ete The better your pies the higher your hits Dont Don't Stay away from pictures with frowning or tough guy poses these 1 will only arouse suspicion and make you look like a predator Dont Don't ever everlie everlie everlie lie and stay away from embellishment If you dont don't snowboard then dont don't mention snowboarding sl Most importantly never mention old relationships or heartbreak ak stories Doing so is akin to tattooing LOSER on your forehead and walking around with your zipper down 3 Flirting with Other Members Do Wink as often as possible Most sites offer a free communication tool called a wink or a flirt where members can show interest in each other with a written pre-written email designed Since winks are the primary method by which other members will notice your profile you must get in the habit of sending a lot of or winks Send 10 winks per weekday for 1 month you will have sent winks If only a mere one percent of ot all members at whom you have winked showed interest you'd meet two brand- brand new love interests every month Dont Don't Email before winking A direct email before attraction is solidified is as welcome as a phone call at dinner time Doing so exemplifies a non-interest non in attraction and may irreversibly tu turn off a potential mate Conversely dont don't pre pre judge judge an attractive profile due to some personal neurosis If you see someone youre you're attracted to but they live in Magna- Magna wink anyway You never know what treasures treasure's you'll find if you keep digging 4 Entailing Potential Mates Do Send a short personal email to anyone who returns a wink Emailing is an essential part of internet dating because email is the primary vehicle by which you will move from digital contact to physical contact As such a an effective email campaign will get you to a date faster than a bad one Be brief Include information that references their interests or profile builds attraction and features a joke or witty remark Try to keep your first email within two paragraphs or three short stanzas and ask a question in order to engage the target Dont Don't Write a personal narrative Only hopeless people have time to write a a page 3 diatribe to a stranger so a lengthy dry or overly inquisitive email i will create an impression of desperation and loneliness The first email is not the time to share your personal story or t j heartbreak Additionally avoid cheesy cliches s and dont don't over- over compliment 5 S. The Tile First Meet leet Do Meet in a well-lit well public place for a maximum of 90 minutes and go Dutch The meet can be bean bean bean an incredibly awk awkward vard experience since it will willbe willbe willbe be the first time you see seethe seethe seethe the member without being surrounded by text or graphics so find a venue conducive to conversation not stuffing food in your mouth Be prepared with conversational topics to interject and avoid awkward silences like the plague by using a cheat sheet Dont Don't Dont Don't call it ita ita ita a date This could be a topic by itself As the first meet is riddled with error opportunities you you must go into it with the idea that less is more You are not dating yet you are simply meeting Therefore it is not nota a date My first meet with my wife lasted 20 minutes we established attraction set another meet and said g goodbye Additionally d dont don't on t go to dinner nor or a movie dont don't buy roses or or coffee or or r anything for the theother theother f other person dont don't stay longer than 90 minutes dont don't over over compliment ment and definitely dont don't shake hands Shaking hands is something friends do and if youre you're looking to meet friends on the Internet youre you're wasting your time Keep in mind that your goal here is to establish attraction and set a real date If you spend too much time with dating elich cliches s you will be eaten alive Stay fresh stay cool and dont don't stay long Remain somewhat of a mystery and you can always send an email to your mate acknowledging that you had a great time While these tips can be altered and modified b based sed sedon on your experience if you have never dated online you are much 1 better etter off by sticking to the game plan mentioned in this article and constantly adjusting your approach to your own unique personality For more tips and tricks on Internet dating please write The Globe at and let us know your concerns Happy Hunting J J 41 |