Show Political Stance Over I Over Saggy Soggy Pants I Parker Nick 1 Opinion 1 In a recent crack legisla- legisla of legislation have legislators Virginia tion for having haying hay hay- i fine people tried to Showing ing saggy pants could put your you in underwear debt for a President y G Grant bill was Luckily the realized when w they defeated wasting our 4 teath that they y were money on A time and taxpayer things things We We terribly inane about Social 3 could be talking marriage marriage mar mar- gay reform m Security commerce commerce huge or instead Md lets let's issues dumb but faw fashion trends debate much we hate them and how probably what they Or that's said anyway y Besides it being a gross inefficiency of our lovely legislative system this brutally brutally brutally bru bru- tally pointless endeavor just goes to show how disconnected disconnected disconnected discon discon- our representatives have become from almost all reality If they think that slapping a fine on someone someone's s wardrobe will improve the world around them they're dead wrong Besides enraging enraging ing millions of punk kids and rap fans it would be almost unconstitutional Sure the whole baggy pants fad was over long ago but do we really need to resort to making rich old white guys' guys opinions And if See Pants continued on page 10 Pants continued from page 7 they're unfavorable should they be beable beable beable able to tb influence fines and legislation legislation legislation legisla legisla- tion This would b be an infringement infringe infringe- ment on freedom of expression check out the first amendment to the United States Constitution if passed Sure it would be a terrible form of expression but expression nonetheless The appealing body of that law would probably have a tough time overturning that law though due to the rigid dress code standards in the Supreme Court and the inability of any intelligent American to take a person with that look seriously My dad and I were discussing the story the other night and he said that this was a great idea Hes He's a staunch opponent of the whole baggy pants culture He lumps it in with gangsters gangsters gangsters gang gang- and rappers of whom he certainly certainly certainly doesn't appreciate He teaches physical education at Kearns Junior High and sees this trend more than probably any of us this side of middle school ever will I found his tangent of pseudo anger humorous because it got him so worked up over such a small smaIl issue Maybe if our populace was affected a a little more by politics in their daily life as my dad was by this bill they would take more of an interest in its inner workings If we all had a gay friend who wanted to get married to his partner or if we all had 17 prescriptions a month to fill perhaps then we would gauge most of the big issues today If we all had brothers that flew to Iraq for six months or if everyone had a sister that was raped and wanted an abortion maybe wed we'd pay a little more attention to the big debated laws of today Ive I've decided that the current political political political ical apathy that plagues this nation could be remedied if all of these things were taken up by the public Were We're going to send you a nice little package from the government In it you'll find a gay uncle a draft ticket for your little brother a bill for various drugs and necessary medical devices an unhappily preg preg- nant sister a Mexican immigrant that happens to be quite loveable and a poor teacher that only wants a raise concurrent with the cost of liv liv- ing That way everybody will have an opinion and something to vote for Hey they're your representatives Let them know how you feel This article maybe transformed from an opinionated coverage of a really dumb piece of news to a apolitical apolitical apolitical political rant but maybe I have a point |