| Show J t w x x w W IY rf t. t t. x W fb W F w- w A Wt x f X w d or TRIAL h 7 fi 4 i v M j f i V BY i N w.-t w. W A i I M J ff ii ll Jt o oA A w. jj WW f lY fu w ft t BW ww 6 W x 4 i- i fk f i w. w k x Mf i m h l k WB aji itt X iw r ids bu Yi 91 Yr A New Version of the Full-Court Full Press By Jake Nelson Staff Writer Lets Let's see Perry Mason Matlock Baca Mitchell Y Marvin Kramer Im I'm just making a list of all the good lawyers that I can think of With the exception of all of these lawyers are fictitious Baca was a gunslinger who left a life of crime to become the sheriff He then left that position to study law and became one of the most respected to live Respected lawyers that's an oxymoron I was once told that baseball was Americas America's favorite sport Since then courtrooms have started to become the arena for the newest sensation The best part is that anyone can participate par par- Everyone wants to play lawyer nowadays Ask anyone what their opinion is on Clinton Everyone wants the guy either impeached or left alone Soon the bailiff will be required to shout Out or Safe after every ruling The nice thing about trials is that they are fast becoming spectator sports I decided long ago that I would never want to settle a case on The Peoples People's Court Now Im I'm afraid of settling my affairs in any court room If the Clinton lawsuit were to togo togo togo go to trial I would fully expect some guy was sitting in the bleachers with witha a camera around his neck one of those hard hats that hold beer cans and a sign that said Hi Mom from Gary in California To make the court sport fair rule books are required The Dummies books should soon be out with their version The games section at your local book retailer has incorporated a law sub Everyone also wants to know all the evidence and the media is only too happy to oblige No sooner had Kenneth Starr released his report than it found its it's way to the shelves It was turned out by three separate publishers and currently currently currently cur cur- ranks 1 2 and 3 on the BestSellers BestSellers BestSellers Best- Best Sellers list As if these books weren't enough there is more to come As I was reading reading reading read read- ing my daily USA Today I was informed that abridged and unabridged versions of the pages of evidence including the Grand Jury testimony and Monica Lewinsky's mail e-mail messages will be available to the public courte courtesy y of Pocket Books Theres There's even speculation speculation speculation specula specula- tion that President Bill will be appearing on the cover of the next Cigar magazine Like many other sports the latest profile high-profile up match-up in the snide world of courts will soon be available on your computer for hours of nonstop nonstop nonstop non non- stop entertainment The Clinton Courtroom Adventures 64 game should be out by Christmas Theres There's the Clinton Trial interactive interactive interactive tive CD ROM that follows the 0 O. J. J Simpson CD released last year Monarch Home Videos and Media will be selling home videos of Clinton's Grand Jury testimony at around 15 10 dollars The movie version of the Starr report is due out this summer Theres There's too much entertainment value in the media Merely in shadows shadows shadows shad shad- now who could ever really forget forget forget for for- get the atrociously long situation with O. O J. J Simpson In case you didn't didn't didn't did did- nt know the same thing happened with his trial both of them Humor books were released the most memorable being the 0 Js J.'s courtroom doodles The lawyers had their autobiographies released soon after Judge Ito's speeches were released as were O. O J. J and Furmans Furman's testimonies Television released several several several sev sev- eral movie versions of night Rob and Nicole were slain The movie is ismore ismore ismore more like the shower scene from Psycho though When all was done O. O J. J himself n rP FR o f TilE 1 y PAvy llA f fl g tf r i you io ACT er ti 3 B o h n Ti OlO O Of f I SO d ff SL P 11 ti J f r rE W E a oo O i t J f V ff J tir T r t i-t M o i t CAMIAd Sear J A 1 a Cf f. f ov B t a N PADS GET 7 Y I BO gE e qt s t An NaSON s N 18 released a video where he gave a grand tour of his home Its It's a good thing he sold er maybe a copy The money he brought in should help him out with all that money he owes the Goldberg family You need not feel sad when the movie Clinton Americas America's let down ends It'll soon be followed by it its it's t sequels eq els Clinton 2 2 The Div rc tri i als and Clinton 3 Battle for Custody I think Ill I'll wait until the action figures come out |
