Show The truth truth behind behind the Great Salt Lake fL tJ stench or Adventures in crystal hunting Deidre Pike Contributing Writer has it that improvements are desired tomake to tomake tomake R RUMOR make the Great Salt Lake ake more attractive to tourists One wonders what could possibly make this eighth wonder of the world even better than it already is Being new in this state I am admittedly naive about the loyalty of the natives to their most outstanding feature I cant can't help wonder why the obvious solution has escaped everyone's mind Get rid of it Its It's dead Nothing lives there It stinks Line up a couple thousand bulldozers or orso orso orso so get Nevada to donate the northeast corner of their state and just fill the gross gross' thing in Actually Im I'm just plotting revenge with the cagey old lake for stealing my shoes on my first and only visit I didn't want to pay a buck for a genuine salt crystal in the gift shop so I went looking looking look look- ing for my own In my experience beaches are not dangerous The smell should have warned me this beach was different t. t Even after venturing several yards out into the mud I remained confident Then I saw it It looked like a salt crystal As I reached for this treasure I realized I was sinking in the mud My son yelled quicksand My kids ran to safety I chose to head for the closest land which was through the squishiest part My husband wished for a camera as he watched me run He said the faster I tried to torun torun torun run the deeper I sank He said I was actually screaming but I thought I remained rather calm under the circumstances As I reached safety I turned my muddy body back to look at the seemingly innocent mud that had claimed my Reeboks Apparently my motherly instincts had deserted me in this life- life threatening situation because I had left my three Her clean dad enjoying the show sho from his position of complete safety was obviously not going to rescue her Since I had nothing left to lose I braved the mud once again to save save sav my daughter and her shoes I am firmly convinced that the nauseating smell of the western hemispheres hemisphere's only inland inland inland in in- land sea is the dirty foot odor of several zillion zillion zillion zil zil- zil- zil lion years' years worth of stinky moccasins boots and tennis shoes all stuck in n the mud for eternity tern i ty As we drove from the park my family expressed expressed expressed ex ex- ex- ex pressed incessant am amusement t at my antics The lake itself was probably laughing as we drove past the mocking sign that read read We We hope you enjoyed your visit Yeah right J |