Show Wife abuse occurs occurs more morer i L often than people imagine Abused women feel guilty and ashamed even though they have done nothing wrong Diane Cashel Director of Drug and Alcohol Education Program BE it ever so humble theres there's no place like home is a sentiment that reflects the feelings feelings feelings feel feel- ings of most people toward marriage home and family The surprising fact is that a lot of violence is reported among family members rs For example about one-fourth one of all murders in the US U.S. take place within the family Surveys of American couples show that 20 to 50 have suffered violence regularly in their marriage The records in indicate indicate indicate in- in that between two and four million incidents of domestic violence occur every single year Wife abuse is one type that probably occurs occurs occurs oc oc- oc- oc curs far more often than most people im im- im- im agine The tragedy is that many women suffer this abuse for years without getting help A woman who has been abused over a along along along long period of time is afraid afraid afraid-afraid afraid of being seriously hurt and fearful for her childrens children's safety She may feel guilty or ashamed even ashamed even though she's done nothing nothing noth noth- ing wrong An abused wife may feel responsible-for responsible her husbands husband's violence because in some someway someway someway way she may have provoked him She places the shame and blame on herself herself herself her her- self instead of her abuser The longer she puts up with ith the abuse and does nothing to avoid to-avoid or or prevent it the more likely she is to develop doubts about herself Along with this she may have feelings of being a failure both as a woman and in her mar mar- Women have learned it may be their own feelings of fear guilt or shame that keep them in a relationship that is physically physically physically cally abusive Often social or economic factors compel a woman to stay Sometimes a woman stays for lack of somewhere to go for shelter and advice or r because she feel that she loves her husband husband husband hus hus- band and lives with the hope that he might change change if if only she can hang in there Tragically in most cases the abuse continues for continues for in fact her husbands husband's behavior be- be havior has her actions The first step for a woman to take is to admit to herself that she is being abused and that she is not being treated fairly She has the right to feel safe from physical harm especially in her own home A woman can do a number of things to protect herself She can hide extra money car keys and important documents somewhere somewhere somewhere some some- where safe so she can get to them in a hurry The phone number of the police should be handy She should have a place to go such as an emergency shelter social services or the home of a trusted friend or rela relative Uve A woman needs to talk to people who can help Good friends can lend support and guidance but often professional help is advised In the Salt Lake area there are a number of organizations that are devoted to women's concerns Women in Jeopardy 2804 East South provides shelter and counseling counseling counseling counsel counsel- ing for abused women and their children Community Counseling Center 3 55 3 55 2846 Battered Women Domestic Violence Support Group 2804 Family Support Center There is no easy way to prevent wife abuse Until society rejects its tolerance and acceptance of violence for resolving conflict and expressing anger meaningful changes in family relationships will not occur No one deserves to be beaten no matter what the excuse It is a crime to physically harm another individual individual- individual s a stranger friend or spouse If you would like more information regarding battered women and domestic violence call the Alcohol and Drug Education Education Education tion program at 1 |