Show I r R Introspection confession n and find forgiveness forgiven s ensure a s strong rong bond bondin bond bondy it L J in hol holy y m matrimony nu n f i Engaged Christians warned not to be naive about the need f l for fOT marriage pre pe-ma pe counseling co f E Terry Dillon Associate Editor PRINCE of Peace Evangelical Evangeli Evangeli- cal Lutheran Church has a pastor who is well versed in 1 premarital counseling Pastor Paul Wendland is himself an expert communicator who also helps married long couples work through dif dlf- d Experience has taught him to warn starry- starry eyed lovers coming to him ab about ut impending marriage plans that they need to be prepared for future problems One bride took issue with me when I raised the possibility possibility possibility pos pos- that she and her future future future fu- fu ture husband ought ough t to prepare for some issues coming coming coming com com- ing up between them at some sometime sometime time during the course of their marriage Her response was that a serious problem between them was im impost pos pos- t sible Bible She said Me and Jeff we get along fine Wendland said Couples who refuse to prepare for future crises may end up bailing out of their marriages upon the first sign of trouble The liThe social sciences science Psychology psychotherapy communication are are tools which God has given us to help us work on ourselves he said Some devout Christians Christians Christians Chris Chris- shun therapy because they think all they need is faith to get them by They argue that the Bible is the only psychology necessary The liThe Lord can help us even with secular tools tools said Wendland When I drive down a highway I dont don't ask if C Christians built it The Master of the Feast said this is good goodwine goodwine goodwine wine when he drank it He didn't say this is good Christian Christian Chris Chris- tian wine Wendland explains explains explains ex ex- ex- ex plains that it doesn't matter because God is the author of all good Truth is truth even if spoken by Balaam's ass Num 30 2228 Wendland said chuckling Christian couples should not be stubborn about seekIng seeking seeking seek seek- ing a good counselor before during and after their wed wed- dings Wendland recommends recommends recommends mends that his congregation study a book entitled Talking and Listening Together This text may be ordered by calling calling calling call call- ing 79 1764 1764 or by writ br-writ- writ writing ing to Interpersonal Communication Communication Communication Com Com- Programs South Broadway Littleton CO ii Any trained therapist with whom couples can develop a good rapport rapport- rapport rapport- even a non-ecclesiastical non person per per- son would son would be of benefit Whatever helps a man mart to follow follow follow fol fol- fol- fol low the Bibles Bible's command to love his wife is Godly advice even if the therapist is not aware or intending a Biblical service Wendland said The pastor cites two scriptures scriptures scriptures scrip scrip- tures as the best piece of advice advice advice ad ad- vice he can give to couples planning marriage James 1 19 says to be a good listener lis lis- tener to tener-to to make listening a priority It also says say to be De slow to speak and slow about getting getting getting get get- ting angry The social sciences cali can help a man and wife follow follow follow fol fol- fol- fol d low through with that The other scripture is is- Ephesians 4 15 which says to speak the truth with love By being completely honest but also kind and tactful about expressing honesty a marriage marriage marriage mar mar- can flourish over the years he said Practicing Christians believe that it is Jesus who gives them the heart for good goodwill goodwill goodwill will Wendland said In the the Lutheran faith doing good comes from grace not grace not notto to earn Gods God's redemption but because of it Couples who place Christ at the center cen cen- ter heart ter-heart-of heart of their marriage will be off to a good start he said However discovery y of ourselves and our hidden problems is a necessary lifelong process Christians should not be naive about their need for ongoing Introspection introspection introspection intro Intro- confession and repentance to ensure a strong bond in holy matrimony i 1 rr- rr J. J 4 1 y TA T i i w 4 p r r i t ty y 1 c r u 0 0 0 0 3 I um ml 0 0 0 0 1 I A I 0 o o |