Show fr t w 1 A F M JOHNNY WAS WRONG a fly by DONALD HUNTER R eb rn e r im he had placed his teacher up on a pedestal because she was different than all her predecessors all his dreams for the future were crushed however when she proved that she was just run of the mill JOHNNY was as quiet as an empty cloakroom in mrs corners Mor ners class but he listening to the talk about vasco da gama and hernando de soto they were only a launching point for his dreams out the classroom window it if he could discover a country or explore or capture kidnapers like he read about in the paper or bandits suppose a bandit should walk into the school room he dreamed just suppose sup with his mask and gun and rough voice and sharp orders and he johnny should rise and and maybe get shot but save her he ended the scene each time with mrs corners Mor ners grateful tears as she bent over his hospital bed that would be it that would be something it be making a fool of himself like some of the other kids did by bringing her an apple in the morning or a flower from his mothers garden or affer offering to clean the boards it would have to be something bigger than that something no one else could dol do it if he could risk his life tor for her and not die then shed know what he thought of her she was the kind of lady the knights of king arthur used to risk their lives for or she was the greatest lady of them all she made him feel good and warm inside of course he tell her in words not with his halting speech but that way shed knowl know mrs was big strong and firm and johnny had been afraid of her at first dreading the time when she would call on him and hed reveal his stuttering then in turn shed appear surprised patient urgent and finally harsh hed have to stare at her in stoney silence then his only defense against an adult world then of course she would decide as all the others had that he was bad she probably had some very solid ideas about discipline about punishment and reward and about boys she thought were bad but when she finally spoke his name it was so softly that he turned around to see who else was named johnny he believe that easy gentle tone was meant for or him until he looked up and saw her eyes smiling directly at him it was just like she knew him like he was a real person she try to hurry his speech excite him and he could answer her almost without a halt but just thinking of her sometimes was enough to bring that choking lump to his throat which broke up all his words into jumbled meaningless sounds when she caught him like that she raise a fuss she simply nodded and passed on to the next boy of all his teachers she was the one who decide he was bad the one he would do anything at all for the one he loved he came out of his dream with a sharp voice in his ear johnny it was her voice he felt his stomach jerk up in a tight knot beneath his chest pressing pressing so he could hardly breathe somewhere there was a question with it vaguely he heard stay after school tonight young man she said she even called him johnny the empty room that night gave his mind space to wonder he tried to force his eyes and dt attention to his history book but only his eyes were there he sneaked a glance at her desk where she was busy with her own papers was it such a bad thing hed done were vasco da gama and hernando de soto so important did she really think he was bad not that please his mind almost cried in his book not her the only one johnnys father was dead and the love ties to his mother had been broken off of one by one by her ab sent minded attention to her flower garden and by his own speech impediment hung dangling and loose about him waiting for some other object to come along and attract them and mrs had drawn johnnys loose ends like steel cables to an electromagnet electro magnet he had to know how she felt but he cou lant ask he could feel that lump in in his throat and the steady pressure in his stor stomach he heard the rumble of departing children N w q ap re at ff 4 t but when she finally spoke his name it was so softly that he turned around to see who else was named johnny die lower in the outer hall and he thought that pressure had burst in him when three laughing girls ran into the room she laid her papers aside to smile at their giggling excited chatter maybe he had been wrong he hoped maybe she think he was bad but he felt the depression of the distance separating him from them he was not one of them until he heard their talk about flowers he knew about flowers too his mothers flower beds her constant talk about them sure he did and that was the price of admission up there they were all talking about flowers he plunged desperately toward his answer without thinking he knew thought brought fear if he do it right away hed be tightened up beyond any possible sound from his throat he was on his feet da dah dahlias kahlias Dah lias he began and and zin kinnias H t JIS IS voice was cracked sharp it scared him in the sudden silence of the room four pairs of eyes were on him questioning waiting then glancing at each other one girls smile faded to sympathy my my mother says they ile he stopped his throat was closed there was not a pinpoint pin point of welcome not even a hopeful face up there there was only surprise in several dp degrees grees and not a hint of help and there was her blank stare that will do tor for you young man her voice was hard but no longer strange hed heard it that way before youre not in this these girls are not here as you are youre here for punishment not reward punishment not reward punishment ish ment not rewards reward punishment not reward the words settled from bright lightning light nin flashes 0 ta o pt dull rumbling like thunder rolling about his ears he knew even before their meaning came clear to him through the shock he had tailed even the girls felt it and excused themselves quietly leaving the room so he hear he could feel himself preparing to stare at her in stoney silence but he was bad and he was wrong he need any defense now those love ties were broken all at once now but they hanging loose and dangling waiting tor for some other object to come along and attract them A bitter acid was loose in him burning them off at the roots the only thing tight in him now was a new fear earsome thing there was a faint stir of his old dying feelings how could he tell her how bow he felt about her he wondered how shed feel if he could let her know really know how he really felt about her now he almost smiled but he caught himself he was all johnny she said at three thirty you may go now and dont let it happen again dont worry he said he did smile at her soft tones he wondered if the pleasant smile was a part of her punishment and reward sort of reward for punishment maybel but youre wrong johnny he told himself as he closed the school room door behind him and gazed down the empty hall youre wrong johnny his heels punched sharp ominous sounds in the empty vastness as he walked down the hall youre wrong johnny he told himself again and all the rest of his life he kept telling himself he was wrong as he kept walking in emptiness empty ness and all his life iffe he was wrong As wrong as two left shoes as everybody knew when they called him public enemy number onel one |