Show ki 1 Y p vv two wa keys ays eys to 0 a A A cabin B Y L I 1 D A L A R R I 1 M MO 0 R E 4 0 MACRAE SMITH CO SERVICE CHAPTER XV continued 22 jerry conover gays smile deepened she leaned back against the leather upholstery looking out across the dance floor where couples circled in a wash of artfully mellowed light you called me up one day and asked me to take you dancing continued todd because he was magnificent in the sky but no use at all on a dance floor and you took me As I 1 remember the subject of aviation was never mentioned between us not for six months at least yes all true she added thoughtfully wed have sor something A great deal id try not to be too much in evidence you could consider me a part of the landscape until todd she cried in soft protest she turned to look at him her eyes shadowed thoughtful a half smile trembling across her lips the music had stopped it began again a familiar tune A voice meltingly tender sang red sails in the sunset far out on the sea their eyes met our tune you bribed them to play it when you spoke to the waiter a few minutes ago ot alls fair in he smiled with a twinkle in his hazel eyes will you dance with me gayz gay in silence they walked to the edge of the floor she slipped into his arms so accustomed to his dancing technique that her position her steps conformed instinctively with his they circled out across the floor rhythmically with practiced ease moving as though 0 they were one person her red brown head close to his blond head her dress of cream colored lace starched to crispness as fragile as frost work a delicate silhouette against the black of his evening clothes the way it is with us gay he said after a moment no false starts no stepping on each others toes no necessity for apologies id rather dance with you than anyone but life all dancing todd dancing is a symbol we understand each other her head turned drew a little away so that she could look at him his eyes met hers steadily be sailing and dancing he said gently friends a home children if you want them friendship good things gay very good things todd but are they enough ifor or you 1 I told you im conceited he smiled youre a darling will you gay IU ill think ill try ill see gays evening wrap slipped from her shoulders fell to the floor she walked across to the desk between the windows when you killed a thing you killed it quickly she seated herself selected a sheet of note paper drew the pen from its holder bolder john darling the pen moved steadily t across the sheet of cream colored paper beneath the engraved address of her mothers apartment we have hurt each other too much and too often it your fault or mine I 1 love you I 1 have tried as you have tried but trying does no good im going to marry todd very soon by the time you receive this perhaps we will have i been married he understands as you must and will there can be no peace for either you or me while we continue to fight something that is too big for us something which we cannot alter or control I 1 want peace for you for myself you will find it in your work I 1 will find it eventually in the life which todd and I 1 together will create dont be bitter or self reproach ful I 1 dont regret having loved you you mutt must not regret what has happened keep the memories of the happy times weve had and forget the others the pen came to a stop she read what she had written it seemed adequate there was nothing to add except her name she wrote it quickly folded the sheet of note paper enclosed it in an envelope found a stamp dr john L houghton dr sergeants Sarge ants address in portland her writing was clear each letter distinct and carefully formed it betrayed no sign of emotion she was glad of that there was nothing to indicate hesitancy she glanced at the clock on the night stand beside her bed better to mail it now than to wait until morning she rose stooped picked up her evening wrap standing before the mirror she slipped it on secured the fastenings with deliberation and smoothed back her hair when she turned she saw the letter a cream colored oblong on dark desk pad she returned to the desk stood for an instant holding the letter in her hand then moving swiftly and quietly went out of the room the night doorman spoke to her at the entrance of the apartment im going to mail a letter william she said shall I 1 mail it fo you he asked no thank you must be mighty important letter he said with a drowsy grin very important william she went out through the door he held open for her into the quiet street there was a mailbox at the corner her high narrow heels clicked on the concrete pavement the air was balmy and smelled of the river the sky was sown thickly with stars the letter made no sound falling into the box but the click of the lid against the slot when her hand band released it startled her as though a shot had been fired through the night walking back to the apartment house saying goodnight good night to the doorman going up in the lift she marveled at her composure whenever during the last three months she had hadl ahou hought of making a clean break with john she had anticipated the pain it would give her now that she had written and posted the letter she felt only a sense of relief had she gotten over it without being conscious of the process she wondered as she prepared for bed nothing in the mechanical movements involved in writing and posting the letter had shaken her except the click of the mailbox lid her hand as she brushed her hair was steady her face in the mirror above the dressing table was composed thin as it had been au all spring the cheek bones accented shadows under her eyes no hint of the shattering emotion she had anticipated she felt more tranquil than she had for months physically weary as though she could sleep forever she lay beneath a light coverlet in the soft narrow bed her arms crossed ased beneath her head looking up at the disk of light that the bed stand id lamp printed upon the ceiling at some time during the past three months had she stopped loving john in no not that but had she ac cepter cited the inevitable had she been recovering all these weeks since she had 1 returned from maine had the decision ision she had avoided finally made de brought tranquillity rather than n the pain she had anticipated she he know she felt sleepy blissfully released from tension and strain ain she turned pulled the lamp cord d darkness pressed against her go on and pack closed sed eyelids heavy and soft blot ting out objects smothering thought quieting eting as an opiate blessedly wel come ne her hand moving to an ac customer cus tomed position beneath her cheek felt b havy bavy avy she sighed murmured and 1 wa was as asleep CHAPTER XVI gay dropped down on a bench in central park and glanced at her wristwatch wrist watch ten minutes of two kate would have had luncheon without her wondering where she was todd would probably have called he had said last night she sighed and put it out of aie her r mind her weary glance returning to the park so children rolled hoops again why did they combine pink geraniums with those striped green and dark red plants where did all the strange looking people one saw come from how long did it take a letter mailed at midnight to reach portland maine would he receive it in the late afternoon delivery today was there a delivery in the afternoon why she called the post office this morning when she woke and realized what she had done there have been time enough then to stop the letter all sorts of red tape she supposed and she been sure that she wanted it stopped she sure now in spite of the way her heart ached and the taint faint ness which made her so weary she done the right thing the best thing for or both herself and john there was todd of course but if he was willing to take a chance strange how bow calm shed been last night dancing with todd half promising to marry him writing that letter to john and posting it shed slept too deeply and restfully it was not until this morning when she woke that she had realized what she had done this morning how long would it take a letter mailed a little after midnight to reach portland maine the words she had written recurred to her we have hurt each other too much and too often that was true but the hurts they had bad given each other were not comparable to the suffering she was enduring now to what john would suffer when he read her letter she imagined him tearing it open in the hall of dr sargeant home eagerly because he loved her letters anticipating in the envelope which bore her handwriting hand writing a momentary release from work which was to him uninteresting and exacting sitting on the park bench she tortured herself by watching his expression change seeing the brightness fade out of his his face his lips quiver with pain the agony in his eyes im going to marry todd very soon by the time you receive this perhaps but she going to marry todd not very soon not even as long as john lived and loved her as long as she loved him with this aching intensity that throbbed with every throbbing beat of her heart she was not going to marry todd that was settled the night she and kate had arrived at the cabin when john came in and she had watched his expression change from brusque inquiry to astonishment to the soft and joyous radiance that had shone in his eyes but why she marry todd she loved him dearly in quite a different way but that way more lasting she might hurt todd but he could not hurt her there would be children lovely blond children in depinna play suits filling her life why she marry todd two children ran toward her one of them stumbled and caught at her to keep from falling dark eyes looked up at her from a thin dark face her heart gave a lurch she smiled and started to speak but the child raced on beyond her out of her reach A letter mailed at midnight she could drive to portland in ten hours or less leaving now she would be there before midnight or she might drive as far as boston tonight and go on to portland in the morning her heart beat quickly hopefully she took a few rapid steps forward but john would have had the letter by then would he she sure and to go dashing up there wo would uld be a concession he had not come to her here they had parted after the time she had spent in his mothers home not entirely reconciled a distance between them which both recognized but which neither had made an effort to close it if he loved her and wanted her he been able to leave of course but now that dr sargeant had returned gays chin lifted above the scarf knotted at her throat under the jacket of her dark flannel suit she humble herself to return to maine she why she was it pride false pride the wilful arrogance she had fought against that was restraining her was it pride that last night had compelled her to half promise todd she would marr marry Y him to write the letter to john pretty stupid to let pride rob ob you of the thing you wanted more than anything in the world pretty stupid and obstinate to let something beautiful slip through your fingers because you were accustomed to having your own wilful way she did not know when she made the decision she was hardly aware that she had until I 1 she found herself running through the park t to 0 the nearest point a at t which she might hope to hail a cab a tall beautiful girl in a dark tailored suit and a small bright hat running along a paved walk beneath sun dappled foliage running breathlessly excitedly to a cab to maine to john kate came out from the dining room as gay burst into the hall hal of the apartment where have you been she asked 1 I waited for an hour youre out of breath have you been runn running yes ive been running we lose any time kate dropped down on a love seat in the hall what do you mean she asked were driving to maine gay tugged at her arm come pack what you must but not much im not going to maine im going to stay right here and finish anthony adverse it if it takes th the st ot of my life wj dont be silly were going to io maine 1 I went to maine with you once and you know what happened AU all right then ill go alone wait a minute kate quickly caught gays arm as she turned what is this all about youre the most headlong head long young lady ive ever known ive got to go kate I 1 wrote john a letter last night breaking it off telling him I 1 was going to marry todd and now you want to beat the letter to maine if I 1 can anyway im going I 1 told suki to call the garage and have my car sent around I 1 must pack oh gayl and ive only my pullman case here kate wailed its as big as a trunk aw what does that have to do 4 j my going to maine ai 4 well you dont think id trust you to io go alone do you will you go with me gay caught kates hand and gave it a squeeze kate you are a lamb iamb nonsense kate pulled her hand away go on and pack its nice it kate said as gay turned the car into the street on which dr sargeant lived elms arent they did you ever see so many so tall its nice now gays eyes strained ahead for the square frame house which she had remembered was painted yellow when I 1 was here in march it was pretty bleak there was a blizzard that must have been jolly kate regarded gays profile arent you glad I 1 made you stay at that inn last night you look fresh and rested though I 1 still dont care for that hat the house was yellow gay murmured slackening the speed of the car 1 I dont see any yellow houses are you sure this is the right street ive written the address a good many m a ny times ohl oh gay gave a little cry there are nat and skippy this is the house had it painted white she drew in at the curb pulled the brake shut off the motor hello admiral byrd she called TO BE CONTINUED |