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Show How to Have an Unhappy Christmas Ah cheze, here it is almost Christmas again, and me without nuttin' bought. Guess I'll take my time and go up town about 7 :00 p. m. on December 24 and that will give me plenty of time to buy me gal that book on etiquette. Maybe then she will learn not to try to walk ahead of me .when we go to a show. To think that she hasn't enough manners to let me have the best seat when Tbuy the candy! It's disgusting, especially when I let her buy the tickets. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy Uncle Erastus a club so he can protect himself when Aunt Mamie comes at him with the broom. Speakin' of Aunt Mamie, just try catching me paying fifteen cents of my good money for her present. The cheap thing only paid ten cents for mine last year. No, sir, why should I waste a nickel. After all, Jefferson had to build Monticello so that we would have something to picture on the five cent piece. Then there is that sister of mine! I wonder won-der if I could persuade someone to trade me a nice dog for her. Just the thing for her would "be a little red wagon that she could tie Percy in and cart him around. Then she wouldn't have to worry about him going out with other girls. Maybe she will give me a nice piece of chocolate for the suggestion. Yeah, I'll bet. After I spend my dollar and a quarter buying buy-ing presents for momma, poppa, five brothers, broth-ers, eight sisters, six aunts, eight uncles, and fifteen cousins, I'll have plenty of time to pull the baby's hair and trip the old folks. Now that that is all done, guess I'll go to bed. Where is that music coming from? Carolers ! How do they expect a feller to get any sleep? Ma what do red spots on you mean? Do you get them every Christmas cause it makes you look all lighted and decorated? Oh ma MEASLES! Golly who wanted-to celebrate Christmas anyway? |