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Show ptLPhillipr POST-TAX IMPRESSION 1 Are you married or single (whichever is the lesser)? 2 Are you single and living with no dependents other than those minus mi-nus 10 per cent? 3 Are you a married person earning earn-ing over $1,200 a year and living with your 1941 or 1942 wife (whichever (which-ever is the larger)? 4 In making out this income return re-turn have you first made every effort ef-fort to convert from money to coal? 5 Print full name in this space and list any claims for exemption from Classification as a Class 1-A taxpayer. 6 If you have ever been rejected as a taxpayer give name of examining exam-ining doctor and state nature of your physical ailment. 7 Were you ever turned down as a taxpayer for defective eyesight, poor hearing, glandular disturbances or poor circulation? 8 If you have ever made application applica-tion to be deferred as a taxpayer on account of flat feet make a cross in this space. 9 On dotted line below give your best estimate or guess (whichever is the larger) as to your income between be-tween now and New Year's eve. It is now first down, 20 yards to go. 10 Give the names and addresses of three responsible guessers in your community who will indorse you as a man whose guesses are fairly reliable re-liable or wholly accurate (whichever is larger). 11 Do you decline to pay income taxes on the ground you are a conscientious con-scientious objector? Any luck? 12 State your weekly income in this space and specify if your employer em-ployer is a married man living with his uncle or a single man living alone on the April, 1942, level. 13 Multiply this by your best estimate esti-mate of the number of dependents on both sides, minus October, and subtract 2 per cent for shrinkage. (See Section X; third or fourth door to the left, whichever is the larger). And remember no cuffs or belts. 14 In this space list your estimate of tax for the period hereinafter known as the Erie and state if you can convert from cash to oil. 15 To estimate the number of red coupons necessary for receipt for this payment add 3 per cent ad valorem and subtract serial numbers num-bers on all four tires. This leaves you all even. 16 Multiply the above result by the first six months of 1944 and give your best estimate, conclusion or speculation (whichever is the largest) larg-est) of what you will have March 15, 1945, barring a collapse of your second sec-ond front. 17 Print first and last name (whichever is the lesser) on this line, minus the 1942 middle initials (unless in essential industry) and give an estimate of your 1944 address ad-dress (if single and living with your folks). Note By act of congress, August 1, 941, a penally of SIO.OOO fine and twenty twen-ty years in prison (whichever is the larger is provided for any person or persons (whichever is smaller) having a complete understanding of this tax blank, unless thiry days notice shall have been given in writing or by phone (whichever is looser). THE HAPPY BUTCHER A butcher has just been sentenced to five days in jail and fined $25 for charging too much for meat. But we are not worried. If he wi!l just take a small steak to the hoosegow with him his confinement will be brief. It seems that this butcher charged $1 for a rib steak that should have cost 72 cents, and 59 cents for 42 cents worth of chops. Elmer Twitch-ell Twitch-ell is heading a national campaign to have his sentence and fine rescinded re-scinded and some sort of medal substituted. sub-stituted. "Any butcher who doesn't overcharge more than that these days is a friend of the public," declares de-clares Elmer. "I talked with this butcher," said Mr. Twitchell today, "and he is delighted. de-lighted. He says five days will be too short a time to get away from all those rulings, counter-rulings and Greek orders issued to the markets mar-kets by OPA every week. "I tried to tell him that it was all wrong; putting butchers in jail, as it was the chiseling, bribe-taking wholesalers and black market racketeers rack-eteers who belonged there. They are the guys who make the butchers violate OPA ceilings. But he ordered or-dered me to let him alone. He said jail would be wonderful compared to the life he has led trying to follow the rules and meet the stern demands de-mands of his customers." We understand the butcher resents assistance and is mighty glad to go to jail.' i j "The poor butcher was a pathetic Jgure, but very happy. He wanted to know if it would be wrong to send the judge a box of cigars for being so nice. "His main satisfaction was that he would get away from the black market mar-ket racketeers. I told him he needn't worry about that. None of these birds ever get sent to jail." I |