Show mark ark bains T brief ID ifft e f I r el milivoy Mili M lit toy ar va C 00 alik C W 1 4 1 41 I 1 1 ZV I 1 AN P k sk 4 M se q 4 V i I 1 by ELMO SCOTT WATSON al 1 VERY VERT american knows the name mark E twain even dough trough they are not no 0 o familiar with his hie real name naine samuel langhorne clemens all who have hato rend ilia hla books know some something tiling of his career as is a printer a steamboat cap maln a newspaper man but most of all lie ho Is known na an the great american humo r let doubtless it will be a surprise to many to know that lie ho was wal once a volunteer to in the ranks of them the confederate army during tile the civil war end and even though his experience as a soldier was a brief one it was eventful and interesting enough the glory of this hitherto little known period la in marks mark life has come to light recently in it book published by the yale university press under the ilia title of absalom grimes confederate mall runner edited from captain grimes own story by M M quaife for afi ten n deain years before the civil war absalom grimm was a mississippi river pilot running between st louls louis and st paul anul at tile the outbreak of ilia ho war ho he enlisted lit in one of the little companies of irregulars which were raised in missouri to recruit the ho confederate army sam clemens CI wn was a meniver orbits or tits same company in ili which lie he had bad what lie once referred to as his short and ous oua military efi career reer after the detachment had been disbanded grimes volunteered for service sen ice na is a mall mail airier arrier between the missouri und tind kentucky confederate troops in tile the south end and their relatives lit at homo it was an extremely hazardous duty for or every titue time lie he went through the union lines lie he was in peril of capture und and execution as an a spy during the he siege of grimes ran the blockade successfully by wiring his mall in tin boxes to tile the bottom of an and floating beside it through cli tile the union gunboats gun boats ite was repent repeatedly edly captured and twice sentenced to death ile ho spent se months in ili the old gratiot prison in III st louis and nt at tile tho end of the war was under sentence of donth death Ilo however wever the personal intervention of president lincoln who gave him film an unconditional pardon saved his life all in till nil tile the story of absalom grimes to la one of the niest niost thrilling civil war narratives that lias has yet been published and it to Is one vall worth preserving this article however tins has to do principally with ivoti mark twain tind tile the chapter on campaigning with murk mark twain la in the book Is 19 in ili some respects funnier fur infer than anything which mark blin himself self ever eer wrote here Is how Alisa lorn grimes tells it A short time afterward the war excitement r renn a lied he d old rails nail in italia halls county west of 1 bal al a ami one thin one morning I 1 learned that it A whole brigade of 0 recruits kad formed a camp at nuck latsons Mat sons horne home two miles went livest of now new london I 1 found that th tho 3 consisted of ten tan young men iiren most of whom were my friends among them was atm bam clemens Cle inena mark twain the recruits were alir t destructive move they would make inake first on tha suggestion of some one nearly all of them had their hair cut off as short as possible so BO as a to allow the enemy no advantage in close cloae quarters tom lyon L on acted an ai the barber using a pair inar of sheep shears any hair that escaped cutting wan pulled out by the shears I 1 joined the brigade and mounting an empty vinegar kec which was waa placed under A shade tree had my belt sheared NoIgh neighboring boring farmers farmer who wore were in sympathy with the e south aut h provided horses for those who had none after tuch much deliberation and discussion of plans plan MO dc aided to move our camp westward no na we hard that sonia some of the union army would be in hannibal shortly and we were liable to 0 o be captured at 1 any ny moment ly by them we wanted time to or orR garil anlie and drill before their arrival no two soldiers wore the name earns equipment it would be useless for me to try to describe the appearance of that brigade when mounted nothing aas uniform except that we till alt rode nitride I 1 will mention especially but one war ar horse the ilia one that had been presented to I 1 murk lark T tw rin lie he was a little yellow mule an AH frisky aa air a lack ack rabbit lie he tied had long tract earn eal wa was about ail out four feet high and irr led his i 8 tall sticking t might ou out t 0 on n a dead level with his hi back lie ile aked as if he had been mounted on the vinegar 1 lik g and lyon lon the ilia company barber had bad used the cheep shears on the wrong end tw for his tall was dived hived us with a razor to within six all inches of the end ml which resembled a pain terA only tool ile he 1111 ans christened taint brush by bi his roaster on this little mule were located mark twain one valliie one carpet sack eack one pair of gray bray blankets one home anad maan quilt ohe one trying pan one old fashioned kentucky squirrel rifle twenty yards yard of sea snips grass rope and one umbrella we proceeded west until we reached the home of col hill splawn and then next day went on to col john rails nails hen home lie gave us a lecture on the ilia importance of our mission and after his statement that he was duly authorized by governor backson to enroll recruits for or the southern hern army we were all sworn in on a branch of the bait Salt river we found another squad of men who had organized a company and called themselves vea the salt bait river tigers their appearance would have filled the enemy with terror aror and caused a stampede equal to that of hull bull run nun A blacksmith had completed their equipment by providing each man with it a huge saber made from acy scythes thes sickle bari bara lonk long glea fles s and goodness Ko knows what olse else we decided to elect officers slid and the nominations for or captain were william ely and asa glascock the former being elected then was wa unanimously elected first lieutenant mark hark twala twain was nominated tor toi second lieutenant and he was promptly elected we called on him for or a after some hesitation because of such a large audience the tigers were present ent he mounted 4 a lot loff blushing and said you would scarce expect one of my age to spek speak in public on the this log CC well boys boy I 1 than k you for electing me leour our lieutenant I 1 will try gryto to do my duty anil and t the he guari thing by you but bit I 1 make a cwb 4 q 21 A 44 N N v ZO W W 1 80 ra h 14 when I 1 left now new london col ranceford JIan ceford drown brown gave me an old sword that he luid had worn in the th mexican war and his father had used in the war of 1111 1813 while at colovi Co loial nails italia I 1 concluded our second lieutenant should have a sword I 1 requested colonel rails to make the presentation OP pech ch which he did and mark twain responded W we then rode to the prairie drew up in una line and waited for captain ely to report which he never did from that list day to thin lieutenant glascock Glas cook finally filially assumed command of the hulls county Ift hungers to as we had named our company we had no tents tenta so ao wout sticks and stuck them into the ground and spread dome of out our blankets and quilts quilt ovar thorn them aai A for or tood the ih most important part of ilia expedition we had very little of any kind the boys boy went for foraging aning and brought in carn meal tat fat side moat merit and row rame sorghum this constituted our bill of fare during the entire two weeks wo we romal remained ned thre there it rained all the ali time we were there near our camp was located a log IOK barn belong belons lne to a farm house and this we used for headquarters in it was a largo large though in which we fed our horses hones at night clemn clemens and I 1 slept in it some borne one brought us the news that the yankee army was coming out of li hannibal annibal in full force that it would leave the railroad fit A lifo monroe urcie city and march straight to our camp this report created much excitement and we decided to put out a picket guard mark twain was placed in charge and after dark dare we started for or r post two miles north of amp at the mouth of a kanj lan leading to monroe city at one I 1 heard board the enemy coming and I 1 aroused the other two soldiers lieutenant demons clemens mounted taint brush and bw our horses bridles lir idles while we went to the mou of the lane to observe the nioM ments of the enemy I 1 sto ato odIn front and thus commanded the best beat view I 1 saw them heln rise over the top of the hill and I 1 raised my double shotgun ands and tired both barrels without remaining to see how many were killed wo turned and ran tor for our hodhes to our horror we saw our lieutenant more than a hundred yards off and still going we called him to halt and finally bown bowen leveled his shotgun and yelled D n you sam it if you don t stop ill let her got col clemens halted and when we me caught up with him bowen bonen still swearing lie said paint brush got so excited I 1 t hold him Wo V mounted and rode away at full speed leaving um and taint raint brush far in the rear the last w a heard him say was D n you you ou want the yanks to capture me after a meager breakfast I 1 reali ested sergeant bowen to go to the mouth of the th elane paris to sea s it if the enemy lina removed remove their dead after viewing the field of battle I 1 said sam I 1 want to tell you something but you must swear you win will never reveal a word of it to any living soul as long as you an and t I 1 both live lie he said he would swear BIN ear and cross croas hla his heart to do you see those tall mullein stalks on the h bid of that hill hullt well last lam night the wind caused tem 0 t wave and I 1 would have sworn that thy they were FAe federals rals on well you d 1 n fool you played h 1 you was his hl only remark but en route we were jovial and joked about the lieutenant and paint brush the very first thing bowen did when wo we reached camp was to tell tall the whole story mark twain became afflicted with a boll and it wits was a source of much comfort to him that there were no tools stools or chairs in camp mark had A lot of straw put in the food feed trough and spent all of his time lying on the straw and wondering rendering at t the great amount of patience that job possessed finally we decided to advance upon man roe city mark twain was lying in hla his trough cracked wracked by his boll and remonstrated with us for thus breaking camp and showing no military discipline after all olour of our training we t told old him that we a were after blood and railroad iron and were going on the warp warmth th As A wo we were abo about I 1 to depart he raised rained up on one elbow and salt said it if you are determined to go its no use for or me to try and hold this position by myself ab it if X you will saddle and pack up point paint brush I 1 will join the army and go with you 1 I 1 saddled the mule mul and placed all of marks baggage on hinr him and the lieutenant rolled out of the trough and mounted him it wms was butr few steps to salt river which we w had to cross but we could not persuade the mules to take file water attar a treat ret effort mark said bald ab I 1 guise cues you will haye have to load lead him in ile le will not to for or roe me I 1 lied one lad end of an inch rope around 9 ur mules u neck ack and t took ook a turn wl with h the other round around the pommel of my saddle attar after some maneuvering we w cot the mule mul close to the rivet bank and while he smelled the water ml horse a dig with the spurs spurn und and he jumped far out into the is tream stream dragging the mule the top odthe of the bank where we started was wa only a toot foot above water tind the water was wai eight or ten tan feet d deep map the first drat jump my horse hone swam vigorously for the otter other bank I 1 looked back over my shoulder to see bee how hov mark and paint brush were to my horror neither was in sight night and I 1 thought both had drowned I 1 hurried across knowing the rope would biang the mule I 1 landed safely and after ft a few steps step in the edge of the water the to top of marks marke old slouch hat then than mark hark and the mull mul in turn showed bowed up the mule was vory very weak and weaving from tide side to ide when he was wai entirely out of the water mark rolled off removed his hat took his handkerchief from his pocket wrung the water out of it and wiped his face then he bald in his al glow w drawling tones ab that internal infernal mule waded eairy every stop step of the way across bat river about three in the afternoon tired and hungry w we topped stopped at a nice brick housely hou house seby by the he side ilde of the rose we tied our horses and went in presently in cane came ca ne a tall thin woman with edtl gray eyes and light hair that was combed baek back tight in a voice she said aid what do men wain mar twain acted As kearnan komman abill ani said maid madam we are tired and hungry and would like to have something to eat get sat would you well wall you w will III not set got it ther st we W are tor it IL pay no get yourselves out of here ana that pretty quick or I 1 will make you beaching behind her she seized noised a large hickory stick and started for demons clemens hold on madama dont be elfast so eo fast lat I 1 et us reason the case caa weare we are am gentlemen arid and intend to pay tor for food do you think I 1 tun am going to lead feed any rebels and my husband a colonel in the union army armat got cull dy by this hl time all the boy boye were aware out and mounting the horses I 1 remained just in the rear of mark as he slowly baked backed toward the door tearing fearing to turn around and expose his boll to the woman with the club she was striking at hi his shins keeping him bim bent nearly double and all th the while he remonstrated with her she was abusing the rebels and noresh elesh after we had left ar ir I 1 asked sam why he did tot not take his adfor sword to her do you think I 1 would disgrace it by spilling th the blood of it woman T he answered but I 1 believe beblav she would just its soon hit me as not it if I 1 tied had not kept out of her way we caught up with the other boys who were laughter about our lieutenants battle with the yankee woman we met a man on the th road who informed us that thal the house was own by colonel tinker who had been to in the yankee army about three months well who Is that wo woman male T that Is mrs tinker sh she a Is the general at home I 1 1 I should remark she let la com commented sam as we rode on it was about one at clr ht when we arrived at colonel bill Bp lawns again put our horses in the bar ban 1 and then climbed bed into the loft to alberi on the hay lin mark selected a spot near tho the door in the gable end of the barn soon boon afterpe aft after erwe we went to sleep and some on one yelled Fir birtil til sure enough ik a nice little ore fire had started alerted in the hay bar mark made two or three rolls over and accidentally went out the door falling on the rocks below t v drop of tea tall or twelve feet the fall sprained his ankle and he be sat mat there groaning and rubbing his ankle with one hand band while he be tell tor for his bin boll with avith the other meanwhile the khe boy ys in the loft were busily rolling ab up the burning hay y and out of the same door mark imd fallen from and down on tip ot of him away h he went down the slope mope on all bovre with the hay on his back several of us stood in n the door and n roamed with laughter haf W turned to us with tan lan giago unfit for or |