Show AUTO RATIONING Q why do you want a new car A its the only way I 1 can get ive ve new tires Q are you aware of the lestric ions eions A no but I 1 knew something was all wrong I 1 called up several auto salesrooms sales rooms yesterday and in no case did 1 I d a salesman show up at my home inside of five minutes 0 0 Q you already have a car A ayes yes Q wrong with it A nothing Q then why do you wish a new model A my wife thinks our next door neighbors car looks better Q the kind of car your neighbors have is of no importance A what YOU think 0 0 0 Q only certain classes of people are eligible for new cars are you a doctor A no but my feet are just as tender Q are you a farm veterinarian A Is this a car rationing bureau or an information please program Q are you engaged in fire fighting A no just an impression sote some people get from the way I 1 drive Q are you engaged in crime prevention ven tion A no but if let me have a new auto ill give any cop a lift from now on Q are you engaged in law enforcement A yes im a lawyer Q I 1 said enforcement not evasion A I 1 come here to be insulted Q all right we dont mind doing it listen do you regard a new car as a necessity A positively Q give three reasons A well first of au all I 1 live four blocks from my office and without a car I 1 would have to negotiate the entire distance on foot second we use the car to go to church Q how far i is s the church A its almost an eighth of a mile Q your third reason for regarding a car as indispensable A my third reason is the most important of all Q what is it A if I 1 have an automobile where would I 1 store all those ou outdated t road maps and useless tools 0 4 RIMES ON PUBLIC DUTY folks who buy defense stamps gladly speed the day our foes run rim madly those who buy bonds make more certain Hitler 11 ll get an early curtain ed pearson who has evidently been flat hunting says he cant understand der stand why the ads do dont lit group apartments under three headings furnished unfurnished and under furnished I 1 0 0 the united states department of agriculture is working on a motor fuel made from corn and potatoes juliet colt says it is going to seem funny to ask the station attendant tor for six bushels of high test candidates FOR THE FIRING SQUAD A guy on whom id pour hot gravy Is always asking wheres our navy boj CAN YOU REMEMBER away back when a post office ce clerk sold nothing but postage stamps at the stamp window ima dodo bought ought one of those U S auto tax stamps today and she says she is going to buy one every day and save them until maturi maturity y canned beer may be e discontinued due to the need for tin it is okay with us we never did like reaching into the icebox toy fox a glass of beer and coming out with a can of tomatoes moe berg boston red sox ball player has retired from the dia a government good will ambassador to pan america this is most encouraging we have long had a distinct impression that our team in that area wa was s weak both in the field and at the bat mr berg speaks nine languages but the umpires were always able to defeat him in one we favor more baseball players in our diplomatic forces you cant name one in twenty in our entire diplomatic service who has color speed punch or even a good throwing arm we will never think an envoy is really good until we see some kids surround him and ask for an autograph why ban those radio quiz programs if the enemy gets as much wrong information from them as the american people do everything will be just ducky |