| Show Something For Everyone By BERT LUCKY BOYACK i PART I DIVORCE HOME IMPROVEMENT A customer of a local bank bankS S applied for or a home home improvement loan oan explaining explain- explain 7 1 ing that he was going to get a divorce Asked J to explain what a divorce had to do with a ahome r home improvement loan he replied heatedly I cant can't think o of anything in the world that would improve my home more tI MANS MAN'S LAMENT I had bad luck with my wives The first divorced me and the second MORE TRUTH THAN POETRY Ida I want to know if I have grounds for or divorce Law Lawyer er Are you married I Ida Yes Lawyer Then you have grounds for divorce MONTHLY HEADACHE Two former ormer fraternity brothers broth broth- ers recently had a reunion One o of them remarked remarked remarked re re- marked I get a splitting headache every month His friend responded Oh are you paying alimony alimony ali ali- il- il mony to an wife ex-wife too f WRONG IDEA Married for more than 30 years the couple had never stopped battling and could stand no more She sued him for or divorce and they went to court After hearing both of their stories the judge spoke Madam I have decided to grant this divorce and Im I'm giving you 50 ro dollars a week Hearing this the husband spoke up white of you judge I think Ill I'll throw in a few dollars myself I a. a TIME PASSES Divorce occurs so quickly in the actor and actress social circle that they separate t on the basis of giving the best weeks o of r their lives another ti to one N. N f i WANTS MORE The honeymoon is over when the wife remarks My allowance is less than an alimony payment c. t SOME TRUTH It has been said that one o of the main reasons leading to broken marriages and divorce is that the vows were tie tied with slip 1 a knot mot 4 r SECOND FIRST Discerning Attorney to the divorce client Why didn't you marry your second wife weirs if first t t f 1 i EXAGGERATION An elderly politician playing Don Quixote stooped to pick up his young wife's han handkerchief er ef By the t time e he was able to straighten i up his wife wIe got married had three children divorced di dit divorced di- di and left town t 1 i GOOD REASON A traveling husband suddenly dei decided decided de- de i 1 to spend a weekend at home and phoned for airline reservations He sent the customary wire to his wife from the reservation desk t c II 7 Upon his arrival home he was shocked to learn there had been an affair with another Angrily he left his home and checked into a local hotel 0 and applied for divorce the following morning His law in learning o of the issue called the young man and sought to placate him in behalf o of his daughter She has always been a good wife to you explained the older man If she has made a misstep there is probably an explanation for it ti Its no use replied the husband Im proceeding with the divorce ti i t fi Then meet me for or lunch tomorrow and andi i Hv well we'll talk things out and in the meantime Ill I'll d. d talk to my daughter the father ather replied The young man agreed and they met at noon the next day Son explained the father father- law in-law everything is okay I knew there was good reason for that little episode s J JI Oh Yeah the son-in-law son responded Sure I beamed the older man She didn't get your tele tele- gram 1 LAST WORD WORD- George Washington long dead never lied Same for Martha Altho a drudge she never fudged Only after George had died |
