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Show Fess up, Fleisher Dear Park Record: We can't help noting with some dismay That diaries now are the news of the day. It's strange, however, that many of these (Whose authors have tried so hard to please) Were not from the pen of the man whose name Has given the tomes their glory and fame, But in fact were written by others who thought They could write what they wished and never get caught. Herr Heidemann thought since der Fuhrer was dead A fake of his diary would surely be read With very few questions asked by the world When the masterful fraud was fully unfurled. Herr Heidemann erred and his judgment was faulted, And he was condemned instead of exalted. Harsh reality triumphed and he's had to learn: Truth's better than fiction-even in STERN ! Now Dave Fleisher, a writer of local renown, Tells of diaries found in our very own town. Allegedly written by a young missionary Whose thoughts, at the least, were certainly very Inconsistent with those you would likely expect From one who should be so circumspect. But alas, there's an answer to this contradiction-Mr. contradiction-Mr. Fleisher's account was just plain fiction. The whole of his tale was pure fabrication 'Twas nothing but David's imagination ! Well, the folks running STERN have confessed their mistake, For the story they told was also a fake! Now it only remains for the RECORD as well To 'fess up to its game and its story to tell : Lamar and his friend (one Heber by name) Never dwelt in our town and their only fame Was all concoted and totally based On the story Dave penned with such marginal taste. We surely don't wish Herr Heidemann's fate On David or anyone ; don't give him the gate, For we hope that this poem is duly received As an ode from a party who's somewhat aggrieved But who's willing to be the butt of your jokes As long as it's clear to all of the folks ; That none of his plot was based on fact ; That all was just fable to be exact. It may have been foolish for us to expect That anyone, anywhere, could ever suspect, As they read Dave's account which he cleverly wrote, That even a part of his anecdote Was meant to be anything other than jest. But lest some be misled, we'd like to request That the RECORD make clear, which it didn't last week, How its writer oft speaks with his tongue in cheek. No, we surely don't wish Herr Heidemann's fate On David or anyone at least at this date! And we hope you can see that we want to be friends. But would you be willing to make some amends? A Faithful Reader (name withheld by request) |