| OCR Text |
Show sMW bylUckDrough Beware of sneaky messages Every time the Utah Legislature meets, there is at least one piece of legislation that is clearly laughable the "silly bill" of the year. "This year, a prime contender for "silly bill" status is a proposal from Rep. Frances Hatch Merrill that targets "subliminal communication." Subliminal messages, as I understand them, are images im-ages or words that are disguised or flashed so quickly that they are not perceived by the conscious mind. But they are perceived by the subconscious mind and you act upon them or so goes the theory. Merrill's proposed package consists of House Bills 106 to 108, according to an article in the Enterprise newspaper. But the article said it's not quite clear what the aims of the bill are. Of course not! They're written in subliminally! One of the bills says that subliminal communication must be posted with a notice. If the message is visual, it must have a conspicuously placed written notice. If the message is audible, there must be an audible notice. . Whaddyaknow has also learned that the bill says the ,written message must be printed in large black letters. jjThe audible message must be spoken by Rod Decker, KUTV's famous loud reporter, or another person with an equivalent decibel level. : Now there's nothing subliminal about the punitive measures in this legislation. If you don't post notice about your subliminal message, you are guilty under the bill of invasion of privacy, according to the Enterprise. An injunction can be brought against you even if a person per-son does not charge actual damages. You can also be sued for actual and punitive damages. In addition, Merrill's bill makes subliminals without notice an act of unfair competition. And that's not all, as they say in the K-Tel ads. You can also be sued for "injury "in-jury or death proximately caused" by subliminal communication. com-munication. In other words, subliminals are a heavy crime somewhere between carpetbombing fawns and manufacturing anatomically correct Smurf dolls and posing them in obscene positions. ' All this excitement! But do we really know if subliminals are widely used? The Enterprise says there is at least one commonplace com-monplace form of subliminal. In retail shops and stores, the Muzak supposedly contains a message, below the threshold of hearing, which encourages patrons to be honest and not steal. For years, there were also rumors that movie theaters carried subliminal messages. In a coming attraction film, there might be split-second flashes of a cool, sparkling glass of Coca-Cola. The most controversial subliminals, though, are alleged alleg-ed secret messages in rock records. These allegations probably started during the "Paul McCartney is dead" craze of the late '60s. Rumors floated around contending that if you played Beatles records backwards, you could heard a voice crying "Paaaul, Paaaul!" or perhaps moaning, "Turn me on, dead man." Today, you have several fundamentalist ministers who make a career out of traveling to churches and demonstrating the "backward messages" promoting evil and Satanism in records. J' ' " ' " Judging from their TV appearances, their pitch goes something like this. They play a record backwards, which produces noises that sound something like "Gur-rooowlaagawagaeenskoyettemptorgabaskayou." "Gur-rooowlaagawagaeenskoyettemptorgabaskayou." "See?" says the minister. "It clearly said, 'Sell your sister to Arabs.'" Whaddyaknow has done some research, however, and found some previously unknown examples of subliminal messages: You always wonder why President Reagan is so popular when people disagree with him on specific policies? Now we have the answer! Whenever the president presi-dent speaks to the country, the White House flashes subliminal pictures of Norman Rockwell paintings, John Wayne, apple pie and stills of Mickey Rooney as Andy Hardy. Thus, you come away feeling that Reagan is a lovableguy. It has also been rumored that in the last presidential campaign, the Republicans sabotaged speeches by Walter Mondale by flashing a subliminal message that said, "Kick me!" KPCW, Park City's local radio, uses subliminals to promote their classical music program, from 7 p.m. to midnight. Every night, from 6 to 7 p.m., the station broadcasts a high-frequency message under the music. It consists of Deborah Cassidy saying "Bach is better than rock, Bach is better than rock. .." And finally: So you thought the traffic light on Park Avenue was just used for traffic control! In actuality, it broadcasts a message to every skier exiting Deer Valley and the Park City Ski Area. Every light on the semaphore is programmed to flash a quick message which says: "Shop Alpha Beta-NOW!" Who else will use subliminals to mislead an innocent public? The Deseret News recently reported on an appearance by send me money comedian Pat Paulsen at a Republican fund-raising dinner. Paulsen commented that Utahns have funny names, no coins or small bills. Referring to Utah Sen. Jake Gam, he said, "Gam sounds like some sort of intestinal disease." Later in the speech send fifties and hundreds to the Park Record in my name Paulsen introduced congressman Guy Vander Jagt of Michigan. He added, "Vanfer Jagt sounds like an advanced case of Gam." Here's an easy way to make money in your own neighborhood. All you have to do balding, chubby reporters are sexier than Robert Redford is to eat a lot at take-out places. Hamburger joints always give you a lot of those nobody does it better than Park Record writers little ketchup packets. Just save all those ketchup packets and sell them back to the burger places. This scheme only has one problem for a good time call 649-9014. Merrill has proposed a bill that would require labeling all "recycled" ketchup packets. Under the bill, violators would be punished by being required to use the old ketchup on their desserts. Typo of the Week buy a Park Record subscription for every member of your family: In the first draft of our TV listings, a re-run of the old TV western "Alias Smith and Jones" was listed as "Alas Smith and Jones." C'mon, it wasn't THAT bad a series! . ' ' . . j"- , " f '' t"" 9 f" H - .J ft Park City was an entry in the "Best and Worst" list for drama, compiled by the Deseret News last Sunday. The Intermountain Actors Ensemble won the "Show Must Go On Award" for last summer's presentation of "Macbeth" at the Park City Shakespeare Festival. Said the News: "The opening performance was threatened by a statewide state-wide power blackout. But they pulled a few cars up to the outdoor theater and used headlamps for spotlights, creating the right mood for an eerie second act. " We fully agree. And we can hardly wait for their performance per-formance of "The Tempest" during the June rainy season. |
