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Show ' i i i i r Torn (D9(DlkDcIk vi fv WIMsitfle I "r V by David Fleisher How to behave during film festival activities The annual film festival begins here Monday, and I'd like to offer a few tips on etiquette as it relates to the movie-going movie-going public. You may want to cut out (his article and carry it around with you next week so you can refer to it whenever necessary. It's important to be familiar with proper behavior during any film festival. We all know that the festival attracts celebrities every year. In the past we've seen such notables as Robert Kedford, Martin Sheen and Stanley Kramer. Robert Duvall is expected to be here next week. Because it is intended intend-ed to be a classy event. Cheech and Chong (much to my relief) will not be here. Besides Robert Duvall, there may be other famous people roaming around (own next week, so it's crucial to remember this: Don't stare and point your finger and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey! Look who that is!" This is rude; in fact, it's not even remotely nice. I know it's tempting because how often do you see a famous actor walking down the street? Nevertheless, Never-theless, it's best not to make a scene. If ou absolutely must stare, I suggest wearing mirrored sunglasses. How can you tactfully get a celebrity's autograph? First of all, have you ever wondered why you want a celebrity's autography? It's just a name written down on a piece of paper. Are you going to carry that piece of paper in your pocket for the rest of your life? Who needs it? It'll just get in the way. There are more important things to have in this world, like credit cards, or a driver's license, or photographs of your wife and or lover. But if you insist on getting the autograph, here's one approach : Go up to the famous person on the street and say firmly, but politely, "Famous person, per-son, I understand you've been dying for me to ask you for your autograph. Well, I took time out from my busy schedule, so here I am. Just write your name down on this piece of paper. You probably won't see me again, so this is your first and only chance. By the way, you were great in your last movie. What was it?" During the festival, you will naturally want to see a few movies (notice I said movies, and not films; critics see films, you and I see movies.). There's something you should do before you even leave the house to go to a movie. Go to the bathroom. Why? There are two reasons: First, it's awkward and inconvenient in-convenient to climb over ten dark bodies in a movie house, especially during an exciting scene, just because you have to use the bathroom. Second, once you get to the bathroom, you're missing part of the movie. So, think ahead, and attend to your biological needs, first, at home. There's something else you should do before leaving home to see a movie. Leave the screaming baby with a competent babysitter. I know it's hard to get good help these days; good babysitters don't grow on trees. But you should know ahead of time what effect your screaming baby will have on people who are trying to watch a movie. I saw a movie not long ago, and sat directly in front of a screaming, belching baby. This was not a shy baby. At one point during the movie (I forget which scene), the little bundle of joy decided to give me his lunch, free of charge, right down my back. Assuming you have a celebrity's autograph, have gone to the bathroom, and have left the baby at home, you are now ready to sit down and see a movie. What should a person do when he is watching a movie? Simple question, isn't it? Well, it depends. For example, if you go to a drive-in movie with someone else, there are many things you can do besides watch the movie; in fact, you can do these things instead of watching the movie. Since Park City doesn't have a drive-in movie, we don't need to concern ourselves with those kinds of distractions. All movies next week will be shown indoors, so I suggest that if you have any biological needs along these lines, take care of them in the privacy of your own home. Remember, this is a classy event. Don't downgrade it by exchanging intimate in-timate emotions between scenes. The only thing a person should do when he is watching a movie is, quite simply, just that watch the movie. Period. This means, no talking, no yelling, no running up and down the aisle, no belching, no kicking, and no kissing. Okay, if you want to kiss, go ahead, but just once. Don't turn it into a major love scene, though, because the people behind you will be distracted. Remember, the reason you came to the movie in the first place was to watch the movie, and that's all. If you have an overwhelming desire to air your personal problems, do it in the lobby. And while you're in the lobby, lob-by, you might as well go to the bathroom because you're probably the type of person who forgot to go when you were home. As I walk up Main Street I hear the Ten O'Clock Whistle. |