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Show Ten O'clock Whistle by David Fleisher An interview with candidate Ronald Ronald ... We at The Record feel it is important to air the views of all candidates running for public office and hope you go out and vote Tuesday for the person of your choice. I recently interviewed a relatively unknown candidate; Ronald Ronald hopes to win a county commission seat. He agreed to the interview under one condition; and that was I had to use a tape recorder to make sure he wasn't misquoted. And here is what Ronald Ronald had to say about local, national and world issues: Q. First of all, why is your last name the same as your first name? A. It makes it easier for people to remember. Look at Jerry Ford. He probably would have picked-up more votes when he was running for President if he had just called himself Ford Ford. The voting public does not like to be confused, especially during an election. Q. I don't think many people know you're even running for office. Why haven't you been out campaigning? A. I tried campaigning once but I invariably found myself making promises I couldn't keep. Plus, I think if people like you, they'll vote for you whether they shake hands with you or not. I like to keep a low profile. That's why I live in the basement of my house and never answer the telephone. Next month, I am considering moving into the Ontario Mine. Q. Well, so much for your personal life. By the way, are you married? A. Not yet, But I'm still looking. The problem is I can't find a girl who is willing to have the same first and last name, like me. I met this one girl named Heather I liked very much. Heather Heather. She wouldn't go for it. Q. Okay, I can see you like things to be relatively simple. But a county commissioner must make important decisions while he is in office, and sometimes there are no simple solutions. For example, how would you control growth in Summit County? A. There's no way to control growth in the county. Most developments start going up before they're approved anyway. I would request a moratorium on all building projects if growth gets out of hand; but to be quite honest with you, it's hard for me to know exactly what's going on since I live down here in the basement of my house. Q. Do you think Park City has adequate representation on the county commission? A. Stupid question. Park City needs someone strong, forceful and influential on the commission to make sure we get what we want. And I'm the person to fill the spot. Q. Why you? A. You'd be surprised how much thinking I get done here in the basement. There's no one around to distract my thinking process. 1 call it, "basement thinking." Q. The condition of the roads in Park City has disturbed people lately. What would you do about the roads? A. I don't know. What would you do about the roads? Q. What do you think is the most pressing problem in Utah today? A. The most pressing problem in Utah today is the Liquor Commission. They press a lot of people down. I only drink coconut juice, so I don't really care what the Liquor Commission does. But I'm sure there are people in this state who drink refreshments other than coconut juice. Q. Turning our attention to the national scene; what did you think of the Camp David Summit? A. I thought President Carter did a wonderful job, and so did the Arab and the Israeli (I can't remember their names). Q. How would you cure inflation? A. Strict wage and price controls. That way, people would know they will never get another pay raise, but also, they will not have to pay more for merchandise and fruit. Everything remains the same. Q. Do you think the Equal Rights Amendment should be passed? A. No, but then again, I'm a blatant racist and chauvinist. I would like to be instrumental in passing a law that would require everyone in this country to be at least six feet tall, including women. Q. Has anyone ever accused you of being somewhat eccentric? A. What's eccentric mean? Q. Nevermind. What are your favorite hobbies? A. Ice fishing and weaving. I do a lot of both. - Q. What do you think of Anita Bryant? A. Do you think she would go by the name, Anita Anita? Q. If elected, what will you do first? A. I will go out of my basement and personally thank each and every person who voted for me. And then I will tell them they have to be at least six feet tall within a month. Q. Ronald Ronald, thank you for taking out the time for this interview. And good luck. in the campaign. A. What was that noise I just heard? Q. The Ten O'Clock Whistle. |