Show BEES WAXING By Mary Bee BeeAll All mothers who are raising their children according to Spock know there are times you are not supposed to show that you are on the verge of hysteria or considering a nervous nervous nerv nerv- ous breakdown Take for instance last Satur Satur- day I was relaxing for a minute between chores when the kitchen door burst open and in stumbled Linda screaming Her face was a blob of mud blood and nd tears and between sobs she was saying something about never riding that pony ever again Now having read thoroughly all the wise advice of Dr Spock I remembered this as one of those times I am supposed to keep my head Dont frighten the child by showing how upset you are when he has an accident the dear doctor advises Dont Don't frighten the child What about me I mean with a face like that she could have a broken brokennose brokennose brokennose nose split lip missing all four of her permanent teeth or be disfigured for life But I kept my head I didn't scream or faint Dont Don't bleed all over my clean floor I scolded How do you like THAT for a calm cool and collected reaction re reaction reaction re- re action Dr S. S would have been proud of me Then I washed off the blood with a brand new bath towel knocked the aspirin into the toilet bottle and all I could have used one too and spilled alcohol into a pile of freshly washed towels Her face wasn't nearly as bad badas badas badas as it first looked either Or sup suppose po s e youre you're at the supper table ready to dive into a beautiful roast beef dinner Your son who is as usual entirely camouflaged with dirt except for the palms of his hands and a ring around his mouth where he washed for supper remarks Jimmy calmly threw thre up in school today Teacher had to clean it up You should have seen what he threw up Dont stifle your childs child's urge for self expression our doctor friend advises So you must resist your urge to throw him bodily out the door and e explain x pia i n patiently for the umpteenth time why he shouldn't say things like that at the table As for me I intend to throw throwaway throwaway throwaway away my worn copy of Dr Spock stock up on smelling salts tranquilizers tranquilizers tran- tran and a awe we shaped well 11 paddling stick and follow my instincts Anyone care to join me Unwelcome news new s Im I'm most likely to hear Guess what Kitty-cat Kitty has eight baby kittens I I need a dollar for school tomorrow Have you seen a little green book Its It's overdue at the lib lib- lib lib- the name of it NesA u A. A I dont don't know but its it's green and its it's overdue and Mrs Spriggs says I HAVE to have it back tomorrow I I cant can't find my shoes Someone Someone Someone Some Some- one must have have stolen them be- be cuse I left them right hereunder here hereunder hereunder under the kit kitchen c hen table last night That was night before last last night they were in the middle of the hall My snake got out of his bottle and I think hes he's under your bed I told the Cub Scouts you'd take them hiking Saturday Ill I'll pray for rain or I I told teacher you'd make three dozen cookies its it's 5 for PT PTA A tonight now and PTA is And my sister whose kids have all grown and left home keeps talking about how lonesome lonesome lonesome lone lone- some she is By the way if you want to see seea a real cute cut e play take in the presentation of Kiss and Tell Friday |