Show 9 Something For Everyone L. L By BERT BOYACK ses Just because you know a couple of bad women drivers doesn't mean they are all good Pat Boone Samm Sammy Davis Jr was terrified terrified terrified terri terri- fied at one of his first night au audiences audiences au- au which Included such ce celebrities celebrities celebrities ce- ce as Eddie Fisher Connie Connie Connie Con Con- nie Stevens May Britt Ton Tony Bennett Jack E E. E Leonard etc He said If there ever was a night when I thought I might turn white It was tonight One campaign for subscription tion increases got mixed up for forone forone forone one paper They had a campaign to Increase one boys boy's paper business busIness business bus bus- iness to buy him a new bike It went along fine until It was discovered discovered discovered dis dis- covered the boy had his own convertible Philosopher Pete In times past money was saved for a coveted or desired article of course this was before credit cards or and/or installment buying buy buy- bu ing LITTLE GIRLS' GIRLS CORNER CORNER- Little girl hugging In ing her father at the door Hurry Hur ry Daddy turn around I dont don't want to miss the rest of that tv show There is one little disappointed girl down the block who has small pox the first day she had to stay home was Show and Tell at school Brunette daughter to father showing him her report card Well Nell that proves Im I'm not an another another another an- an other dumb blonde huh daddy Little girl to mother If If I t II T George Washington was tile Father Father Fa Fa- ther of our Country who was the Mother l One little girl was heard to say There Is nothing new about the ponytail George Washington had one WITTY TIDBITS Small girl to milkman Do you milk all the cows by yourself or do you have a milking machine Senator Dirksen says hell he'll stay out of acting If actors will stay out of politics Patient to doctor wearing a gas mask Is It contagious doctor One horse fancier asked a friend what he thought about horse- horse breeding The friend answered y I I think that is up to them Your is mud name said the angry rain drop to the dust In tI times mes past only astrologists and bacteriologists could use numbers and figures as are I used in our federal budget of I billions A man says that his mother didn't make many mistakes mistakes mistakes mis mis- takes and he was an only child When making coffee for two you put two measurements for each cup and one for the pot who Is going to drink the one for forthe forthe forthe the pot The country that Is always cold Is Chile The hat said to the hatrack You ou stay here while I go on ahead Buying olives from the store to get the largest would you choose giant large or colossal co colossal co- co F For or people In polluted polluted polluted pol pol- areas the solution Is simple simple sim sim- simple viz viz Dont Don't Dont Inhale It Just may happen Getting a Russian Russian Rus Rus- sian fortune cookie with a note Chinese go home Does the night blooming Jasmine bloom at night ought to get Congress to name him himas dont don't as an honorary bird I bird I know exactly why One thing we want to remember about baldness Its It's neat Every one me in the world has much In are all growing common they common they old ld Two flowers that belong to the zoo zoo the the tiger lilies and the dandelions How painful It must be to be perfect especially especially especially espe espe- If the painfulness is con con- Vo o matter how grouchy youre you're feeling A smile Is always quite healing It grows like a wreath All around the front teeth Thus preserving the face from congealing Would you believe a woman had a baby on an airplane with the help of only the stewardess while the rest of the passengers were watching the film Birth of a Nation A prisoner called his lawyer from the Wardens Warden's office I I I need your advice he said They Just took me out of my mycell mycell mycell cell cut slits in my trousers rolled up my sleeves and shaved my head His Ills lawyer hesitated a moment moment moment mo mo- Well Vell what whatever whatever whatever ment then replied ever you do dont don't sit down A wealthy American girl was having tea at a country house in Engl England nd You American girls haven't such healthy complexions as we English women have said an English Duchess to the girl I I I always wondered why our no noblemen noblemen no- no take a fancy to your white faces It Isn't our white faces that attracts them responded the American girl Its Mt's our green green- backs |