Show 1 Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK o. o T. T vV Senator B Bobby obby Kennedy and Johnny Carson live In the same apartment building in New York City After being encouraged by Gov Rockefeller to run for Senator of New York Johnnyt Johnny t thought ought he uld ask Senator Kennedy if if e he should run in 1968 Senator Kennedy re remarked marked Yes the farther the better I Lord Beaverbrook publisher of the London Daily Express once printed a violently Insulting insulting insulting Insul insul- ting editorial about a certain young Member of Parliament A few days later he found himself himself himself him him- self face to face with the Member Member Member Mem Mem- ber of Parliament in a washroom washroom washroom wash wash- room of a swank London mens men's club My chap Beaverbrook said Ive I've been thinking it over and I was wrong Here and now I wish to apologize Very well muttered the Member of Parliament But next time I 1 wish you'd Insult me in the washroom and apologize apologize apologize apol apol- in your newspaper Charlie Rice Punch-Bowl Punch Cassius Clay is no ordinary man Even in cleaning his teeth he uses a clothes brush instead of a toothbrush WITTY TIDBITS Psychiatrist Psychiatrist Psychiatrist to good looking blonde on couch One reason you feel everyone stares at you is that everyone does stare at you Warden to prisoner Are you going straight when you get out or are you going back into poll poll- S. S T W V V tics age Teen daughter to father We Ve walked Into this exclusive store of dresses and found out you didn't have to buy anything and you could try or on anything for free freel There are more females female's n nUS US U.S. than males males- males males- Try be sure when buying a secondhand secondhand second secondhand hand car that it isn't a good spender for a mechanic or br r garage ga garage garage rage Newly married wife remarked to her I dont don't know why I am overdrawn look at all the checks I have left Pity the poor teenager teenager teenager teen teen- ager with the run down car when he drives into the service station and Fill Till it says means the tires A white sheep eats more grass than a ablack ablack ablack black sheep because there are more white sheep than black sheep How many legs does a sheep have if you call a tall tail a leg Four just because you call calla a tail a leg doesn't make it one Let us not criticize the President President President dent of the US U.S. too much he could threaten to replace us with Immigrants We should all give out President a vote of confidence confidence confidence con con- a vote for Lindon is a vote for the bird The bottle boUle of perfume that Wilie Wilie Wllie Wil- Wil ie sent Was highly displeasing to Millicent Millicent Millicent Milli- Milli cent Her thanks were so cold They quarrelled Im I'm told Through that silly scent Willie sent Millicent We all have sayings we have heard in the past but can we re remember remember re- re member the source or author i There are three sayings which I II I do not know the source Viz Be not the first to try the new nor the last to throw aside the theold theold theold old I Youth is such a wonder wonder- wonderful ful age it is too bad it is wasted on the young and Let the dead bury their dead Does Doe s any anyone one of my two readers know the source of these three quotations quotations quotations quo quo- You are an old timer if you can remember when one roadster for and have no trouble finding a place to park I it it And Federal spending for forthe forthe forthe the 1916 fiscal year was million dollars receipts million for a surplus of 48 million million mil mU- lion dollars At that rate of spending a present years year's tax collections would run the government government government gov gov- for about years An elderly man says he used to be a good bathroom baritone but after blowing up his floating floating floating float- float ing bird he hasn't any wind Change of Life When I was young and the winds were high Id I'd stand on the street and watch skirts fly But now Im I'm feeble and very old High winds now just make me cold Ernest L L. L Johnson LAST WORD FOR THIS WEEK Absence makes the heart grow fonder for someone else so letus let letus us not forget the entity of our I heart |