Show I ray Notes o of a Newspaperman Story of a Song Once upon a time March 1913 songwriter John John- Johnny Johnny Johnny ny Burke dined at the home of Harry Lillis Crosby Gary Gory oldest son of Crosby was spouting monosyllabic mon bic thumb-noses thumb at the principles of American education In sum he hated school Burke waved aved a worldly finger My boy he said you should be glad youre you're go go- going going gong ing ng to school How would you like to o be a fish A fish cant can't ca t read reador or write or go goo o fo ball games All he can do is swim around and when he gets tired of swimming one way he turns around and swims the oth- oth othen otherl others I en ers If you like that sort of life you might grow up to be a fish Mr Burke was Impressed with wit his own philosophy He hastened to his partner Jimmy Van Heusen and repeated the dissertation on fish As a result Swing in on a Star was born and cast in Going My Way starring Sing ping Soon after the picture premiered the ditty made The Hit Parade and stayed on it for 20 straight weeks It became a minor national anthem with kids who asked kin if they'd like to be bea a fish or a mule Clergymen used the theme in sermons and Joe E. E Lewis parodied Would you like to hang on a bar with a dame like Hedy Lamarr Very soon a I book on the theme will be published I They may make a film based on its story too Anyway that's what came of a kid saying he didn't like school and why J. J J Burke and J. J Van Heusen pay surtaxes Ambassador to Brazil A. A A. A Berles Berle's wife wile is known for tor her frankness Recently at a dinner in Washington Mrs Berle cor cor- cornered cornered cornered a Russian General and asked him a few Cew pointed ques ques- The dialog went some some- something something something thing like this this his his answers are ara arain in parentheses What is Rus Rus- Russia's Russia's Russia's sias sia's present aim to defeat the enemy What are you going to do with Germany Conquer her And with Poland liberate her And what will you do when you yon arrive at the Rhine Take a swim We have just finished Noel Cow Cow- Cowards Coward's Cowards Coward's Cowards Coward's ards ard's Middle East Diary and the following paragraph in it belongs here considering Cowards Coward's recent jam over his comment in fn the book about Brooklyn soldiers At Atten Atten Atten ten o'clock he observes I went to call on General Eisenhower He combats untiringly the little cracks and lampoons and jokes spread by bythe bythe bythe the British against the Americans and vice versa I believe he even sacked an important member of his staff for making a minor contribution contribution contribution tion to this dangerous subversive racket One silly little man with one laborious joke can cause an incredible incredible incredible ible amount of damage Frank Munn called the American I Album of Familiar Music cast to to- together toI together together I gether and said I just wanted to tell you a little story Frank Hum- Hum Hummert Hummert Hummert mert once approached me and of of- offered offered a spot on this program I asked For how long do you want me Maybe 13 weeks he said maybe 13 years I just wanted to tell all of you i that tonight is the anniversary of oi my year on the American Al Al- Album Album Album I Imy bum of Familiar Music Munn Muon holds no contract A hand handshake shake cemented the deal The recent experience because of an omitted comma in a telegram recalls this one about a a. a refugee college prof dining in a res res- restaurant restaurant restaurant near neat Columbia University Speaking English with that ac ac- acquired acquired ac- ac acquired precision which so often shames the native born he ordered figs and cream The waitress brought a dish of figs covered cover with cream I ordered figs and cream he protested Well she said there they are But he persisted this is figs WITH cream So what she so wrong with it Madam said the professor icily would you say a woman and child were the same as a woman with child Newspapermen will tell you that tha corrections sometimes are worse than the original story This is isa isa isa a concrete example Our paper carried the notice last week that Mr John Doe was a defective in the po po- police police police lice force This was a typographical error Mr Doe is really a detective in the police farce Scrambled Eggs Betty Hutton's stand-in stand is Marie Osborne better known a decade ago as the famous child star Baby Marie Maric Helen Forrest the thrush has shelved 15 Ibs lbs in two weeks which is too fast Before Clark Gable came to town Anita Colby asked him to phone phon her sister Francine when he got here He called her and said This i is Clark Gable Really re reo replied replied plied Francine And this is Lana Turner And hung up I He never neve reached her |