Show the fable of stationary courim tourim touring by GEORGE AD ADE E c boll a cate NCE there was a well to do and 0 ONCE well weli mated couple known as mr and mrs liv living ing in a nifty residence street and always planning to hie to the faraway show places these two did a lot of summer traveling early every spring they never had bad been to europe or the white mountains or yellowstone low stone park except by listening to burton holmes and reading folders yet they had a knowledge of geography which was nas a great help when they tackled a cross cros eyed seyed puzzle probably no one in the world knew more about beauty spots which they bad failed to visit it if they were well informed regarding switzerland and the golden gate and the piney alney woods it was beca because use they had dreamed about them with so much regulatory they had been all over the map without putting a nick in the le letter ater of credit next to picking out a pearl necklace in a show window and then walking rapidly up the street this chautauqua method of visiting africa by proxy and going to the I 1 mediterranean by reading the ads in the sunday paper Is probably the I 1 least expensive of all dissipations it just seemed as it if the dandelions and the puss willows and R nd the hopping robins all of them harbingers of spring and gay advance agents for glorious summer seemed to work on the San gwIns an ami produce a form of emotional you could bank on it that ever every v vernal equinox about the time for changing from heavy to light mr air would look out on a new crop of tender leaflets basking in the sunshine and remark with an air of finality no two ways about lt it im going to arrange my affairs to iso we can go somewhere this summer everything sitting pretty At taboy the good wife would exclaim she was glad to know that at last they would cut out the stalling and take a ion long dandy trip she had bad everything doped for the getaway clarice could be sent to visit her aunt loretta in springfield robert was old enough to be placed at a I 1 summer camp for coys boys and she had the address of one recommended by the lases the gentleman who mowed the lawns and manicured the porches could be installed in the room dabove the garage as a caretaker and the oldest clancy girl could come over and give tile the house a good airing every few days not to be outdone in the matter of painful preparations the other halt of the sketch would then explain how he had been organizing organ ising things down at the office until the business was practically running itself he said that ile he himself that is to say mr was the only one connected with the shebang who was worth a hoot when it came to dealing with an emergency or lacing facing an lin important crisis but he would have the routine laid out so that even tits his associates with their ossified turrets and secondary intelligence could worry along or else consult him by cable everything seemed to be sitting pretty stimulated by the coffee and with the ham and eggs between them they would build castles in the air which made the equitable building look like a woodmans woodmass Wood mans hut but before mr sangvan left the house they would have haie their tickets bought and be walking up the gangway bound for europe romance and adventure many and many a crowded hour did mrs devote to the blissful task of picking out the liner on which they would plough across the atlantic without ever seeing the ocean she camelo came 0 o know more about vessels than any one on the shipping board ever knew slie site wrote to every company and got sales hales of printed matter including Illa diagrams graim indicating Indica all of the staterooms State rooms social hall life boats dining saloon funnels drink parlors etc etc these had to lie ile spread out on the floor anil and she would devite happy dais to fuseli fussing ig over the layout lay out and trying to decide where they bould have their steamer sto imer chairs placed she all and friend husband hail quite a liun in over oer tile the rating bating arrangements ile he minted to take the regular meals find and she wanted to go to the ritz carlton restaurant because she had bad read in the papers that constance bonnet bennet and the marquis and charley schwab always had small tables in the cafe instead of 0 patronizing the main gorge A couple of obstacles when the time came they were eating cold snacks in their own dining room you see ulica they aliey made all of their elaborate plans for going coins over and turning the eastern hern hem inside out sirs mrs hall had overlooked the fact that slie she was corresponding secretary of a local club which generated culture and peddled the late news it seemed that this club was to have the honor of entertaining the state federation federate Feder 01 during the third week in Ju june neThe the had laid out an itinerary find and were booked for venice june esth what could the poor woman do she had forgotten all about the impending worlds invent event in her ber own ito home in to town she know knew that the state convention would he ti 11 flop unless she was on if hand to iid grace and dignity and social to the proceedings so sc she up and told that she guessed europe would have to wait because she want to chase away and turn all the arrangements over to a hunch bunch of female nit nil wits who would get everything balled up of hiram headd a couple of sizable sighs and said it was all for the best because he felt it tits his duty to stick around for the annual tournament out at the country club he had gone ene to the finals in ID the third flight the year tear before and then had been robbed of the cup because tie he was burled buried in the sand got a cuppy lie looked up on all of 0 his pitch shots suffered from heartburn heart burn because the steward should have had it analyzed and an anzle angle worm stopped his putt tile the third flight championship had gone to old mr air who had bf been en a slacker during the civil war and had become venerable en erable vit without hout achieving respectability venice or no venice mr sang win wanted to be on ilan hand d in july to trim the everlasting daylights out ot of the doddering wreck it seemed that mr air hibbits had been suffering from inflammatory rheama all winter and looked to be about twenty minutes from a rosewood casket mr air want him to get well but lie he did want him to live until july and have strength enough to get to the first tee ile he said it would be a crime to traipse off to europe on a mere pleasure jaunt when he had a chance to keep working on his approach lengthen the drive and cop the terrible ss piece of silverware that was one year tear no longer ago than 1920 they departed from their usual habit of taking a midsummer mid summer journey through europe in april and may that year they were all set for a motor tour which was to include all the rest pest hotels and the scenic splendors of the north amerlean american continent mrs san win had the plue blue bool book practically memorized and mr air had bad bought tits his goggles and tested the thermos bottles and every everything Ching seemed when suddenly mrs S remembered that it if she rode too far in a cir car she would get the darn dest case of nervous headache so in 1020 the inveterate travelers compromised by lit attending tend a street carnival pulled off by the B P 0 E for several years tears before that war was the alibi they would tell all callers that they were just crazy to take in the sights on the other side but they were waiting for conditions to get back to normalcy not once did they ever confess even to themselves that they were seared scared to death when they saw a storm at sea in a news reel and they had no real lon loning longing ing to be among foreign barbarians barl ans who spoke strange languages and they were secretly in love with the corned beet beef hash the griddle cakes and the double mattresses of 0 their own comfortable shack off on a wild excursion this year they are at it again they are just as het bet up as they ever were for several weeks they have been standing in awed silence in westminster they have supped cupped at a famous night joint in paris where all of the ladies were not what they might have been but evidently were what they seemed to be they have looked down from dizzy alpine heights at the smiling valleys they have learned how to pronounce salle a manger anfanger they have lolled back in gondolas looking at the molon and stood in the Coll trying to visualize the spectacular immensity of a roman holiday they have visited battlefields battle fields and purchased souvenirs and mrs has seen the big eyed manikins parade in their hoopla hoop la rin flo eries teries gosh but they have been going at some clip since about april the first more they really and truly bellee that they are going to sail on the Masto Mastodon donle lc just as soon as clarice graduates from high school it if they were not so wrought up they would pause in their pipe dreaming and recall that mrs S lias has a lot of fruit to put up lip this summer and that the of commerce has made hiram chairman of the committee on arrangements for the celebration ot of the fiftieth anniversary of tile the organization of the fire department the dates being july oth and lelh so the big vacation will go however the sang San gwins mins will alil not be of their usual outing some day daiy net nent month she will fry two chickens and stuff sonic some and harpoon them with toothpicks tooth picks and wrap them in tissue paper and the whole tribe will motor up lip the river as far as the old peters mill where hiram will do some still fishing athile ili mother takes a good nap with the black cushion under tier her head tood and a handkerchief over ocr tier her face monal there Is only one long trip nelch cannot be sidetracked side tracked |