Show r ing to N i r r t II Everybody 4 I i. i By BERT BOYACK Former President DWight Eisenhower tells the folloWing story which occurred while he was General Shortly after the Ule hostilities ended In Europe I Iwas Iwas was ordered to return to the United States for a conference Among the Ule passengers on the plane was a paratrooper who told me quite a bit about his experiences As we neared our landing field In the states after a nonstop flight I noticed the lad was very nervous the matter son I asked General he replied shakIly shakily shak- shak Ily this Is the first tI time me Ive I've landed In a planet plane I A fellow who can smile when everything around him goes wrong Is a golf gol caddie Martha Has yom boy boyfriend friend given up golf gol Joan Yes but lie he still stUl uses the same language when changing changIng chang chang- Ing a tire I We have all heard that the loosest part In some cases Is the nut behind the Ule wheel The following poem gives the same Idea The road Is strewn with motor motorcars motorcars cars and folks would like to know Why danger stares us In the face we chance to go Investigations come ga galore lore committees probe the cause Experts check the car its bolts and brakes tires and motor laws They search the reasons burIed bur bur- ed deep but In the end reveal That accidents are mostly caused by the nut behind the wheel Lady to next door neighbor U If you dont don't stop playing that Instrument Ill I'll go crazy Man with willi saxophone Its too toolate toolate late Ive I've already stopped Pity the pleasant pea peasant san tHe t He invented the Ule burglary alarm then someone came and stol it from hIm himl 4 TIllS IS FOR YOU THE YOUNG YOUNG THE NEW Baby skunk Mamma may ay i I have a chemistry set Mother skunk No you'll sm smell ll up the house If If you really want to wIn a bet with a friend give him a sheet or of pa- pa per Now bet him that he will not be able to fold it more than eight times Let him try on a larger sheet no matter what the size he vill not be able to old fold It the Ule eighth time I What's the hay lest thing I learning to ride a bicycle the ground and Why do bees hum because they dont don't know Ute the words If you think the caterpillar looks funny did you ever know how it got Its name The ancient Rom Romans a n s called It a catty catta means hairy halry cat The English translation caterpillar Isn't so far from the catty catta Teacher Whom do you think you are arc s shoving h 0 v I n g Teenage Sal I dont don't know What Is your name IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED Over years ago a Costa Rican banana peddler made the first shoes from old banana skins And that's how Slippers originated I and I Originally coffee coHee was the I favorite beverage of England until years ago when the English switched to Tea Anyone Anyone Any Any- one who has tasted English coffee coffee cof- cof fee knows why they Uley prefer teat tea and Asparagus was first eaten b by bya a century Scotchman In a Glasgow restaurant lie He ordered the asparagus then left the walter waiter the tips I A man bought a swimming pool shaped like a gall bladder with stones thrown In It Is guaranteed 1 if not satisfactory you can have the stones re- re moved PAST HISTORY MISQUOTED Wed We'd better surrender Lets Let's face it this had hadit it JI This looks pretty risky After After Af- Af ter all Ive I've only got one life you know I ILay MacDuff and Lay on darned be he who tries to get too rough Smart Sue says Its It's a good Idea to learn from others others' mis- mis takes Life LICe is too short to make them all yourself and or of course there is no fool like old fool I he has had an more experience The sun dried old Connecticut cut storekeeper and I watched two city girls riding down dO the dusty road on their bicycles I clad In the briefest or of shorts I and halters The modern ctrl knows mows how to get her man better better bet bet- ter than her grandma did someone re remarked marked I f II I I The old man eyed the girls reflectively I dont don't know about that mister he said at length r I never seen a successful merchant merchant mer- mer chant who put all his goods on display at once The wise storekeeper storekeeper store store- keeper shows one prize item at ata a time what their th lr grandmas did he concluded LAST WORD FOR TINS THIS WEEK When your neighbors neighbor's wall is on fire It becomes your business |