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Show FEMININITIES. People borrow trouble because it is easy to get and need not be paid back. If an alligator could talk be would probably prob-ably declare that be bad a small mouth. If mothers could die for children no man's lifo would be in danger while his mother lived. He is a very unusual man who hasn't a woman somewhere in the world who is exaggerating ex-aggerating his virtues. A Kentucky paper soys that the grandmother grand-mother of the bride in a wedding in Covington Cov-ington recently officiated as the bridesmaid. Mrs. Nancy Evaus, of Chariton county, Neb., 79 years old, is Just recovering from the measles, and says she thinks the mumps mast be about due. It is just as easy to say a kind thing as a bard thing about your neighbor, but most people seem to think that it isn't so entertaining to the listener. Mrs. Bingo: "There 1 I knew it Thorn moths have got at your dress suit and eaten a bole right through the pocket." Mr. Bingo; "They must be female taoths." Old gentleman, at head of stairs: "Bally, ain't it time to go to bed?" Sally: "Yes, father dear, don't put it off another minute; min-ute; your health, you know, is not robust." ro-bust." v Recently at a doll's party in London there were five or tlx hundred inanimate belles present which were afterward sold to help one of the honpltals where there is a baby ward. It is sometimes said that justice should precede generosity, but in fact, the former for-mer contains the very elbtients out of which the latter U composeu and without which it could not exist "Mrs. Larkln," remarked the minister, 8 "we wish you would let your daughter 1 join the cfaolr." "Oh, I cvldn't think of , it I" replied Mrs. Larkin; "she has a sweet disposition, and I don't want her to be- come quarrelsome." Gentleman visitor, to best girl's little siBter: "Your sister lots me kiss her. Now, won't you leFmekiss youl" Little sister, "No; I don't allow all the. gentlemen to i kiss me, aa sister does. There's a great difference In people, you know." ? Mlstreas: "That was a very nice letter of Patrick's, offering you marriage, Mary. I What shall I say in reply tor youl" Mary: "Tell him, mum, if you plaze, that when I get my wages raised next month, mum, that I'll leftlnaavoJ' rajred- |