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Show 20 pounds for myself, and 20 pounds , for the missus." "Tho mlssuB? Waa sho hurt, too?" ''Yea, in course; I had tho presence of mind to fetch her one over the 'ead 'fore wo was rescued " Buffalo Commercial. Com-mercial. Telephoned From Wrong Place. "Is that you. dear?" said a young husband over the telephone. "I Just called you up n aay that I'm afraid I won't be able to get home to dinner tonight, as I am detained at the office." of-fice." "You poor dear," answered the wife, uynipathctlcally. "I don't wonder. I don't see how you manage- to get anything any-thing done at all with that orchestra playing In your office. Good by." Everybody's Magazine. A Theory. 'Infant prodigies are hard to understand," under-stand," said the man who la easily Impressed. "I don't think so," replied Miss Cayenne. "As a rule they are simply young people with highly Imaginative parents." Washington Star. JUST FOR FUN Merely a Theory. It was at an evening party. A young man with n tall collar and pale hair was reciting a poem, j He had ground out forty-seven stanzas stan-zas and the end was not yet. "What's going on?' whispered the : guest who had Just come In. 1 "Rhymer Is letting out Ms latest poem," answered the pessimistic person, per-son, "What's the subject the motive?" queried the late comer. "I hae rorgotten the subject," replied re-plied the p. p., "but I suppose tho motive mo-tive must be revenge-. At least, I can't sec any other reason for It" Chicago Chi-cago News. An Indiana Naturalist. The wife of a literary man of the Indiana school, who had taken up chicken raising as a side Issue, was telling of the poor success she had with a brood of eleven chickens They seemed to be doing all right for a few days, she said, and then, one after another, they all died In the coop. "What did you feed them?" asked the wife of a farmer neighbor. "Feed them?' exclaimed the author's au-thor's help-mate. "I didn't feed them; I thought a healthy young pullet like that should have milk enough for her chicks." Everybody's Magazine. Lots of Practice. "Have you had any practice?" Inquired In-quired the manager of the great combination com-bination circus and menagerie, who had advertised for a man who could "chin bfmsHf twenty times with ono hand." "I've had too much practice," wearily wear-ily sighed the applicant, whoso right shoulder was three Inches higher than his ML "For seven years I've been practicing two hours dally. I'm a strap hanger, sir." Chicago News. Prove an Alleby, Sammy. Examiner "Wh at Is an alibi?" Candidate for the Bar "An alibi Is committing a crime in one plare when 'you are In another place If you tan be in two other places, tho alibi Is all the stronger lu law " Puck. Presence of Mind. "Hello!" exclaimed a London coster-roonor coster-roonor on meeting an acquaintance. "What damages did you got for bela' In that motor 'bus accident?" " 'Eavy ones, my boy," waa the reply, re-ply, accompanied by a grin. "I got |