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Show JUST FOR FUN Crose-Examlnlng. ' I will aek you, Mr. Arquebus," Raid the lawyer, proceeding to cross-examine, "If " "Arbogast, blr." "Ah. yes Arbegoah. Mr. Arbegosh, did you over " "Arbogast!" "Oh, well, we'll call It Arbogast. I will ask you, Mr. er Arbogast, If you ever sorved a full term In tho penitentiary." j "'No, sir," said tho witness surprised surpris-ed and Indignant. "Were you pardoned out?" "No, sir." "Ah! Then you escaped, did you?" "No! I never was " "Perhaps you were paroled, Mr er Arbogast?" "I wasn't porolcd, either. I never In my life was In " "Oh, well, It isn't important, anyway any-way Mr. Arbogash. how you got out That's all, Mr. Arquenbush; you may stand aside." Chicago Trlbeuno. His First Train Ride. Durla? the early hours of Sunday morning a long and lank native boarded Frisco train No. 104 fr his first ride on the cars, his destination being Kansas City. He was decidedly nervous, but was determined not to show It, and attempted to cultivate an air of familiarity with, hla surroundings. surround-ings. He sought a position In the middle mid-dle of the chair car, placed his grip on the floor and braced himself against tho sldo of one of the plush chairs. "Won't you have a scat, sir?" asked the porter. "Nope," the young man answered. Dad cut.; m' hair nn' I shave m'eelf." Saline County (Mo.) CitUen. Men and Woman. A Boston father the past summer sent his boy. Reginald, and his three sisters to visit a relative In Maine. Though It was understood the visit was to consume three weeks, their stay lengthened to two months. "Well," asked the father, upon the return of his offspring, "was your Uncle Un-cle William glad to bco you?" "Was he?" reiterated the oldost boy, as though surprised by tho query. "Why, dad, he asked me why we didn't bring you, mother, the cook, tho maid and tho dog!" Harper's. Among Acquaintances. Two young lawyers were lunching at the Union Leacxie the other day when one of them mentioned a mutual acquaintance. "Brown Is a good fellow, no doubt," said the other, a littla stiffly. "But somehow or other he never appealed to me." "I suppose he knew it wouldn't be any vise," murmured Brown's friend, politely; "you are usually broke." Philadelphia Times. The Knight of the Swan. Tenor (conducting a lady home after af-ter u concert) Why did you ask me to take you home? Did you consider nio the bravest? Soprano No. but I thought you could shout loudosL Forearmed. "With all your wealth are you not afraid of the proletariat?' asked the delver in sociological problems. "No, I ain't," snapped Mrs. New-rich. New-rich. "We boll all our drlnkln' water," Exchange, Persiflago With Percy, Percy Fltznoodlo (at hotol bar) Aw, an "Igh ball, don't ye know." Bartender Eye-balls at tho oculist's, ocu-list's, sir. Can glvo you an eye-opener. Boston Transcript. |