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Show JUST FOR FUN Ultra-Coneervatlsm. "I'm wlllln' to vote for the appropriation appro-priation of J10.0O0.00O to fculld a .battleship," .bat-tleship," says tho Hon. Mr. Crosslots. "but on condition that It bo constructed construct-ed In Kansas." "In Kansas" shouts tho sponsor of tho bill. "Why. you. blamed fool, If we built a battleship In Kansas, how would we get It to tho ocean?" "That's Just the pint. If wo lne6t all that money In a battleship we hadn't ought to take any chances on it being sunk or shot to pieces." Chicago Chi-cago Post A Peraonal Demonstration. The examining counsel lookod searchlngly at Michael Connors, Standing Stand-ing tlx feet three inches, In the witness wit-ness box of a Western court room. "What sort of u blow was it which you saw tho defendant give the plaintiff?" plain-tiff?" asked the lawyer. " 'Twould be hard to describe, sorr," said Mr. Connors, lu his most confidential confi-dential tone, "but If anny of you gentlemen gen-tlemen is willing to step forward I could show you, easily." Youth's Companion. Quite a Difference. "How dare you!" exclaims the angry an-gry compisor to his critic. "How dare you, sir, characterize my music as you have?" "I don t understand you," demurs the critic. "You said that my rhapsody im promptu was a bum tune!" "Bum tune! Oh, my good friend, I said no such thlDg. I said it was a vagrant va-grant melody." Judge's Library. Reciprocity. She sewed a button on my coat, For 1 was far from mother. ' 'TIs such a thing," she said to me, "As I'd do for my brother." She looked eo pretty sitting there, I quickly stooped and kissed her. " "TIs such a thing." I said to her, As I'd do to my sister!" Olive Balfour In February Smart Set. j Busy. , Pete Kinby (beside the stove, to up braiding wife at the washtub) Who yo' done callin' an idler? Ah'm busy all night try' f git sleep, an Ah'm busy all day tryln' f keep awake." Puck. - ' ExhIWt A. "Do you believe a man's character can be judged from his handwriting?" "Yes. if his letters are read In court" Boston Transcript, |