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Show mm any good U gay either." ChJcajro News. A Wonder Worker. Saplelch Ah. spoakinp of electricity, elec-tricity, that makes me think Miss Keen Really, Mr. SaplelRh? Iin"t it remarkable what electricity can do? Boston Evening Transcript. JUST FOR FUN Hero'8 Maud Again. Maud Muller on a summer's day Dropped her rake and ran away. And with fair Maudie also ran Her pa's big, husky hired man. Finding an airship built for two. They got In and away they Hew. iMaudle's pa lu an old balloon Began to chase 'em pretty soon. I But. alas! he wasn't in the race So ho soon gave up the chase. And dropped to earth once more. Feeling down and out and ore. Then, forgiving them by telegraph. Went homo and laughed the merry laugh. Chicago News. I All Profit. "No use of talking," drawled the freckled youth on the roadside fence, "thar" certainly is money In cattle." "In the stock-raising business, young man?" asked the tourist. "Not exactly, but an automobile ran over that spotted calf a few mln,-utes mln,-utes ago and the man with tho big ' spectacles over his eyes g'H out ' and handed me a $5 note." "Five dollars? That's not so much for a good sized calf." "Ye6, but, mister, the calf wasn't mine. Now, if I can only stand la front of another calf while he gets run over I'll be right in It, b' gosh." Chicago News. Serious Business. "Where's your father?" asked the nian on horseback. "Up the river flabln." answered tho boy. "Where's your big brother?" "Down the river flshln." "What are you dolug?" "Dlggln' bait." "Hasn't your family anything to do but amuse Itself?" ( "Mister, If you think we're doln' 1 this for fun, you wait, an' hear whn maw says if we come homo without any fish." Washington Star. It's Raining in London. The American opinion of coffee understood In the English homo is nothing, and how the coffee of the English lodging houses is esfemr-d may be understood from the, following follow-ing traveler's tale: It was the flrt morning in London ' apartments." and his landlady came up with tho break-last break-last As she set down his coffee cup the opened a slight conversation It looks like ra!n," she said "l does." agreed the American, "hut th odor has a faint suggestion of cof-lee. cof-lee. Everybody's. The Reason. He raved like a howling Apache-He Apache-He stormed with a curse and a jeer-The jeer-The way be abused and the language be used. Were something terrific to hear And it wasn't because they were rotten rot-ten Nor yet that the battle was tame Rut he let out a roar, for the sucker was sore Ho had 50 cents on the game. Exchange. Methods of Calculation. ! "Scientists are not usuallv success Iul business men." "No They think thev are doing very well if they cmno within a few hundred thousand rnlles of the exact measurement. You can't figure on dollars that way if yo nre doing bus-iress bus-iress with a bank." Washington btar. What He Wanted. "Uiches do not brine happiness " remarked tho party with the quota-tiou quota-tiou habit. "Well. rm not looking for hapid-.Vf'" hapid-.Vf'" rejnlned the contrary ,,orsor. News' WnUl U Effort." Chicago Nipped In the Bud. .. 7?ru t.be way'" leried Shortlelch, which is proper to say, -Len.j m y or loan me $5'?" "Well." rejoined De Long. "s r.-ir JS I am concerned. It won t !n v.ei |