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Show JUST FOR FUN. Theatrical Manager Hi, tie,";' What are vou doing with that T'lsto ? Discouraged Lover Going to kill myself. Theatrical Manager Hold on a minute. min-ute. It you're bound to do it, wont vou be good enough to leave a note "envlng vou did it for love of Miss Starr, our leading lady It's a dull reason, and every little helps." Tit-Pits. Tit-Pits. Ineligible. "So vou wouldn't let Eombazlno Dill Ht on the Jury that tried the hursc thief?" "No." answered Three Finger Sam; "we do things fair and square in Crimson Crim-son Gulch Bill's a good man, but the fact that ho runs the only undertaking under-taking business in the county couldn't help prejudicing him soma agin the defendant." Washington Star. The Only Gentleman. In an outward-hound Boston car the other evening there was not a seat left A woman entered and not a man noticed her standing, apparent ly Finally one man rose from his seat and offered It to the woman. She thanked him. adding: "You nre the only gentleman In the car." She was startled by the answer: "Yer botcher life 1 am. klddo.' Chicago News. Delays of Anticipation. "Are you still taking a cold plunge every morning?" "No; I quit doing that to save time." "Why. a cold plunge doesn't take but a minute or two." "I know, but I used to spund three-quarters three-quarters of au hour curled up in bed hesitating." Birmingham Age-Herald. Algy Explains. "What do you suppose, Algernon,' the youug thing asked, "is the reason the ocean Is salty?" "1 am sure I don't know," drawled Algy. "unlfbS It is because there are so many codfish in It." Success Magazine. Mag-azine. Strangers Now. Gladys What do you think? In tho ball promenade 1 was Just after that handsome young millionaire. Evelyn Needlews to say. Everybody knows you're after him evory-v evory-v here. Exchange. Economy Required. "My doctor told me I would have to quit eating so much meat." "Did you laugh him to scorn?" "I did nt flret. But when he tent In his bill I found he was right." Washington Star. Precious. Marks Why in the world did you put your lunch In tho safe Farks S-sh! Keep it quiet, old man. but that unpretentious looklns package contains a boiled egg. Boston Bos-ton Transcript. Ungenerous Lavlshness. Your former husband never complained com-plained nbout the alimony"" "No," answered Mrs. Flimgllt, "he was brute enough to say his motto was "Ireedqni at any cost.' " Washington ' Rl.tr |