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Show 4 IR) TOM SIMS i4f SAYS , May we call the coal shortage a grate danger? Thanks Our shipping board threatens to build two 1000-foot liners. This new Turk offensive Is very offensive lo the Greeks. Some towns are lucky Boston movie organist broke his arm. Oyster soup Is back, says our dry cleaner. One New York floorwalker not only-acts only-acts like a count but is one. If you want to wake up famous sleep with one eye open The school of experience 8 always a high school. "Bonus' is 'good" in Latin; but it lias a bad time In America. Years ond years ago men bought homes before autos After our harvesting machines pet '. through they are needed in Germany I to act as cash registers When road hog meets road hog, that's nice. Many a rather thinks he sings the baby to sleep when he only elngs It unconscious. The big corn crop is causing a jug shortage Fat reducers who succeeded will bo mad about it this winter. Movie stars seem to consider being married sufficient grounds for divorce. Plgiron has advanced $2 per ton. Pay no more Tho rail strike has its bright side Car load of egg plants rotting on side track. A dollar goes far enough nowadays to forget the way back. A new machine makes 50,000 clga-rets clga-rets an hour. Necessity is the mother of invention. Charles Valentine of Youkers has , Improved the phonograph, but Is still at large Human nature is what makes a man brush his front teeth and let the back ones go. Man asks $20,000 berause truck broke his legs He needs It to get on his feet again. Besides not having to wash the tub, the nice thing abour a hotel Is you can knock clgaret ash.es on the floor Babe Ruth has a swell Job. All he does when he wants to go fishing 1h cubs an umpire. Flapper fall fashions are Greek outfits out-fits and what they talk is Greek to most people |