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Show 4- 1 HEARD ABOUT TOWN Now that winter has come at last, the sweet young things can she( thelt furs and start to bedeck themselves In spring finery. Said the log to the water. "I'll fall over you." Said the water to the log, "I'll be dammed if you do." 4 I GIMMIE JlMMll si 7. 1 Easy street didn't get its name from the degree of effort re- quired to get there. ' ALAS. TOO TRI E "Too many cooks spoil the broth." observed the bromldioL "Yep," assented the weary house-holdei, house-holdei, "and about the same number scorch the toast " A Chicago dispatch announced the packers to help In a high cost war, but doesn't make clear which side they will help. A married man may fancy the radical radi-cal suits In a way, but did you ever notice he alwas picks out the old-fashioned old-fashioned kind for the wife? JUST" SOME IDS "J Baker wishes to announce he will make up capes, Jackets, etc. for ladles, out of their own skins." "Respectable widow wants washing." wash-ing." "Bulldog for sale. Will cat anything any-thing Very' fond of chllren." ' Boy wanted who can open oysters with references." Why did you quit smoking?" "It has gotten so It looks effeminate." effemin-ate." t "Hey. you." bellowed n policeman. "I've had ni; eyes on you for a long time. What are you following that lad around like a lost pup for?" It's the only way I can," said the meek little man "She's my wife." Legion Weekly What a shell shock It must re to a perfectly conclcnilous hen to get up i-mc morning to find that a flock or 'Jucks have come out of thy; i ggs she .was sitting on. "Not many people can do this," said .the magician, as he turna his Forr into B lamp post. . . . An old frW-nd of Mnrk Twain wrote to him, and at thf .n,l of his letter he remarked that he was In poor health He concluded i.y asking, "is tlit-re anything worse than having the toothache and earache at the same time V And Mark replied In his customary stylo, "Yes," he wrote back, "rheumatism "rheuma-tism and St Vitus' dance " I ... The Chinese are not given to flat-Itery. flat-Itery. A man called at a Chinese laun-!dry laun-!dry for his clothes. On receiving tlr puekaK he noticed some Chinese thai .acters. I "That's my name, I suppose?" No. 'scllptlon," was thu- Chinaman's bland reply. "LIT ol' man, closs-oyed. 'no teeth." WH T is iioP It's the thing which makea the lamba gambol with glee, the colts j prance with Joy, tho calves throw up th-lr tails and run like rury. the Mntw sing in splitting notes, the frogs croak upon the creek bank the insects tuzz and hum In the air. th milkman whistle whis-tle as he Jogs along, the blacksmith laughingly beat the iron Into shape, the ploughman urge his horses with a "gof-up-thi-re," the engineer to wave a kiss to his sweetheart aa he throws (open the throttle, tho woodman smilingly smil-ingly plunge his axe Into me gi.in; tree, tho hanker and m-rc:ant rush to their work with a cheery "bye-bye," th, mechanic and laborer fairly dance I to thSlr Jobs the soldier to go ".er the I top" with clenched Jaws and courage that knows no fear the live salesman !hie t" his calls with shoulders squared, ' pride In his heart and nerves a-tlngle 1 ulth tho anticipation or new success I Oh, "pep is anything that puts bappl-, bappl-, nesa in tho heart, energy tn me body. I determination in the houi and invincible invinc-ible oouragi- In the will. ' Kxchange Tin: BVSTJB8T HAS IN TOWN A civic problem requiring co-opera- tlon Is Involved and presented. "It can't bo done." naps the pessi- mist. "It la fanciful." sneers the skeptl "Out of the question," growls the ' grouch. Too much work, ' drawl the dllle-tante dllle-tante "Not Interested. ' snarls the knock- cr- "It might cost me something." mut-Iters mut-Iters the miser. Let's put It off," purrs the procras-t procras-t inator. 'Be brief ajid t,, the point. ' says the busiest man In town "It looks good. I'll help you to the llnlt." He does It Is done and another civic accomplishment Is recorded. i |